Friday, March 17, 2006

My 15 minutes begins...

A proud moment…my first ever radio interview on!. It is not the most exciting but you can hear the potential. I clearly need to build a more interesting public person but if I can then other opportunities await such as…

The Wall Street Journal Face Sketch. Who hasn’t dreamt of having their head drawn by a Wall Street Journal cartoonist/etcher? Plus if it does happen, I must have done something involving lots of dough.

Tabloid Magazine. There are lots of options here, from being linked to Brittany, Mariah or Keanu, to scientists discovering a potato that looks like my head.

The Simpsons. Serena Williams, Simon Cowell, Daryl Strawberry (the best Simpson scene ever – Bart chanting "Daryl, Daryl" from the rightfield bleachers) and Troy Aikman have all done voice overs; why not moi.

Oprah and Dr. Phil. In a few months, the fame from this interview and others will go to my ahead. The late nights, the crack addiction, the decent into the abyss will follow after which I will need the love of Oprah and the healing powers of Philby.

Surreal World. After the rise and fall, I will need to mount a comeback and will not be too proud to walk in Trishelle, Vanilla Ice and Charo’s footsteps.

I am ready for the voyage.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

The New Goal

Endurance Radio is a podcast that features 15-minute interviews with athletes ranging from world class ultramarathoners to weekend triathletes. After listening to the same type interview over and over again, in which the athletes, no matter what their skill level, described singularly focused, dull lives, I thought i should try and get on as a man of the people triathlete with an actual life outside of training.

Below is the email I just sent to the host of the show; much like James Frey of "A Million Little Pieces " fame, I am willing to eaggerate for affect and fame.


I think you have a great show and I would love to be a guest on it as "the average, aspiring Ironman."

I am training for Lake Placid 2006, with Wildflower as an early test. I think I could provide real insights into the challenges of training for triathlons while trying to maintain a relatively normal life. In addition to covering the regular topics such as my exercise history, training regimen and diet, interesting anecdotes I could provide include:

1. Being normal. How to maintain relationships with some of my friends who don't "get" the Ironman. WhileI love training, I do not like to spend hours discussing it, and like friends with different interests. Much as some of them would disagree, I also like to have some sort of night life, which makes the 5:00 am run sometimes challenging.

2. Training and traveling. I live in San Francisco, travel a lot for work, and my two sons, potential 2012 Olympians in snowboarding, live in New York. I see them every other weekend, so have frequently been forced to exercise in airports or very early in themorning/late at night, resulting in some interesting stories.

3 Vanity. Triathlon training sucks the weight off of me and I don't want to be the 98 pound weakling, who is threatened by women, let alone can't get a date with one them. How do I fit lifting into a week of run, bike, swim, and does it hurt or help my performance?

4. Creative sponsorships. I work in a high tech PR firm and have managed to get clients to semi-sponsor me, a difficult challenge when the relationship tends to be all about them.

I really appreciate your consideration.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Recent Observations

What happened to lunch?
An alarming pattern has emerged in which my clients are not providing lunch, even for meetings that occur between 11:30 and 2:00 pm. Do they think I don’t know what is going on? By any definition, it is lunch time. I need to eat. I don’t believe in the skipped meal. This is wrong. Four-hour old coffee and a bowl of suckers does not a meal make.

Why do they ask for my name at Jamba Juice?
Whenever Emily and I go to Jamba Juice to get the life-affirming shots of wheat grass, the cashier always asks our name and enters it in the computer. Supposedly this is to help them remember our names so they can be friendly. However, they never do remember our. This is CRM gone bad.

The paid watering service
At work we have a “plant watering service.” This consists of a woman coming around once a week to water the five plants in our office. Are we that lazy that we need to pay for the service? How hard is it to remember to pour water once a week? This reminds me of Ellen Degeneres’ comment on breath strips; have we lost our will to suck?

30 Minute limits on all machines
A lot of gyms have limits on how long you can use the treadmills, lifecycles and Stairmasters. I understand this restriction during peak hours but all the time? Don’t we have an obesity problem in this country? Do people really need another excuse not to work out? Are restrictions on raising your heart rates above a certain next? No benching more than 50 pounds?

Ross and Rachel are not compatible.
Every time I watch Friends, which is admittedly too much, I become more convinced that Ross and Rachel are incompatible. I rooted for them to be together but it just doesn’t work anymore.

No more SF weather talk.
There is less and less conversation about San Francisco weather. After 157 years think everyone gets the 60 and foggy every day concept. Unprecedented.

Three months, after reading Bode’s biography, I was a big-time fan. Bode was it, he was the man. Imagine a US skier attaining mainstream status. I was even basing some new parental techniques on his carefree upbringing. One 60 Minutes disaster, one attack on God (“Lance takes drugs”), and an embarrassing, wasted Olympic performance, and he is now a poster child for wasted opportunity. I am now researching military schools for Ben and Sam.

No more questions
When did people stop asking questions? I understand that I am an inquisitive person but I cannot remember the last game of question chicken I won. You know, see who can sit through the silence without asking the first question. The father of one of Ben and Sam’s friends is fearless at this game. I have met him three times; his sole question has been “how long did you live in Boulder?” And don't get me started on follow-up questions. That disappeared with the pick-and-roll.

I have a pretty healthy accumulation of quarters, nickels and dimes; I have publicly split with the penny. I use this change for my semi-regular Grande Starbucks Coffee, yet I feel a certain disdain from the cashiers when I pay. Are dollar bills next?

I defy you not to get chills
The story of the year is the autistic ball boy scoring 20 points in a high school basketball game. I defy anyone to watch the video and not be moved. Watch it and you will feel better about the world.