Sunday, March 05, 2006

Recent Observations

What happened to lunch?
An alarming pattern has emerged in which my clients are not providing lunch, even for meetings that occur between 11:30 and 2:00 pm. Do they think I don’t know what is going on? By any definition, it is lunch time. I need to eat. I don’t believe in the skipped meal. This is wrong. Four-hour old coffee and a bowl of suckers does not a meal make.

Why do they ask for my name at Jamba Juice?
Whenever Emily and I go to Jamba Juice to get the life-affirming shots of wheat grass, the cashier always asks our name and enters it in the computer. Supposedly this is to help them remember our names so they can be friendly. However, they never do remember our. This is CRM gone bad.

The paid watering service
At work we have a “plant watering service.” This consists of a woman coming around once a week to water the five plants in our office. Are we that lazy that we need to pay for the service? How hard is it to remember to pour water once a week? This reminds me of Ellen Degeneres’ comment on breath strips; have we lost our will to suck?

30 Minute limits on all machines
A lot of gyms have limits on how long you can use the treadmills, lifecycles and Stairmasters. I understand this restriction during peak hours but all the time? Don’t we have an obesity problem in this country? Do people really need another excuse not to work out? Are restrictions on raising your heart rates above a certain next? No benching more than 50 pounds?

Ross and Rachel are not compatible.
Every time I watch Friends, which is admittedly too much, I become more convinced that Ross and Rachel are incompatible. I rooted for them to be together but it just doesn’t work anymore.

No more SF weather talk.
There is less and less conversation about San Francisco weather. After 157 years think everyone gets the 60 and foggy every day concept. Unprecedented.

Three months, after reading Bode’s biography, I was a big-time fan. Bode was it, he was the man. Imagine a US skier attaining mainstream status. I was even basing some new parental techniques on his carefree upbringing. One 60 Minutes disaster, one attack on God (“Lance takes drugs”), and an embarrassing, wasted Olympic performance, and he is now a poster child for wasted opportunity. I am now researching military schools for Ben and Sam.

No more questions
When did people stop asking questions? I understand that I am an inquisitive person but I cannot remember the last game of question chicken I won. You know, see who can sit through the silence without asking the first question. The father of one of Ben and Sam’s friends is fearless at this game. I have met him three times; his sole question has been “how long did you live in Boulder?” And don't get me started on follow-up questions. That disappeared with the pick-and-roll.

I have a pretty healthy accumulation of quarters, nickels and dimes; I have publicly split with the penny. I use this change for my semi-regular Grande Starbucks Coffee, yet I feel a certain disdain from the cashiers when I pay. Are dollar bills next?

I defy you not to get chills
The story of the year is the autistic ball boy scoring 20 points in a high school basketball game. I defy anyone to watch the video and not be moved. Watch it and you will feel better about the world.