the Merrill Life

Assault on Lake Casitas

2011-01-01T06:50:00.000-08:00

I just discovered "Assault on Lake Casitas" by Brad Lewis, which describes his quest for sculling gold at the 1984 Olympics. It is a variation on David Halberstam's "The Amateurs," which is the best sports book I have ever read.

The beauty of The Amateurs and the sport of rowing is that the athletes are pursuing an activity in which there is generally no monetary recognition or reward. They do it for the love of the sport and its community. People all pursuing the same thing - suffering, progress and a goal.

I am stuck somewhere in the middle - I love the community but I have not really joined it other than superficially at work where I am known as the fitness guy. I should definitely work on embracing it more to see if I really do have a spiritual side. Probably not but worth a shot.

Heartrate Monitor

2010-12-25T04:15:00.001-08:00

The heart rate monitor is supposed to give you interesting insights into how you are performing, but today all I learned is I am in some stage of freaking out. I ran the usual Golden Gate Park loop and I was basically incapable of keeping my heartrate below 150, even when going downhill. Physically I have felt fine with no signs of overtraining or sickness.

I'm not sure what affect emotions have on heartrate or training but I am not exactly firing on all biorythyms. Maybe it is emotional stress but I need to address it pronto. Maybe the famous Dr. Scott.

Treadmill

2010-12-12T03:49:00.000-08:00

I know the treadmill is monotonous and avoiding running outside on extreme weather days makes me soft but:

1) I can listen to music on it but can't outside because it throws off my rhythm - there is no rhythm when you are on a treadmill because pace is constant.

2) The weather is always perfect except at Holiday Inn in Kingston in the summer when its 110 degrees and 90 percent humidity. Running is hard enough that I don't need weather to be a factor.

3) Pace is completely in my control, satisfying my OCD. I don't have to worry about how fast or slow I am going.

4) I can meticulously measure miles, again satisfying my OCD.

5) I don't need to pack as much on trips during the winter, although I still tend to overpack.

I know I need to start running, biking and swimming more outside as I target Boston and sub 12. Plus that will give me opportunity to buy more gear. But first one last run on Holiday Inn treadmill.

Going Long Scientifically

2010-12-09T14:40:00.001-08:00

I am thinking it might make sense to buy Going Long, a somewhat scientific book about how to train for long distance endurance events. My approach of doing an assortment of runs, bikes and swims got me to a 13.28 Ironman but I don't think they will get me to sub-12. Without major structure I always gravitate to the comfortable burn (7 mile run, one hour ride or 1 mile swim). Hopefully this book isn't too scientific (e.g., percent exertion, workout zones) as those make me nuts.

I might also sign up for Pacific Masters, an organized swim team that meets at Koret Center. I swam half a mile on Saturday and my form is a joke. It would be seriously fun to be able to flip turn. I am going to try that this weekend with Ben and Sam.

Baby Steps

2010-12-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

So I have taken baby steps towards triathlon training although I am still confining the majority of my workouts to treadmills and Lifecycles which is very bizarre when you live in San Francisco. Everyday is a good running day and there are very few times when it is too cold to ride. But I still have vestiges of mental softness.

I plan on running, lifting, biking, swimming until I can't anymore but I do have a few goals I want to hit if I am going to consider myself a legitimate athlete. They are break 3.30 and qualify for Boston, break 12 hours for an Ironman and qualify for Hawaii Ironman. All while trying to maintain or attain a normal social and family life. I don't think this is impossible and unlike some pretentious authors , I don't think I need to break the bank to accomplish these goals. Given that I am at best a mediocre biker and swimmer, I figure I need 18 months minimum to try and improve these skills if I have a shot. And I will still nail 20 pullups by December 31.

Thursday, Dec 2 - 7 mile treadmill in 53.36

Friday, Dec 3 - weights in AM; 45 minute Lifecycle at Planet Fitness in PM (480 cals; heartrate 140-145 bpm)

Saturday, Dec 4 - 7 mile treadmill in 54.09 in AM; .5 mile swim in 18.59 at Koret (embarassment)

Sunday, Dec 5 - 60 minute Lifecycle at Koret Center in AM (810 cals; heartrate 120-125)

The NY Marathon

2010-11-24T09:16:00.000-08:00

To appreciate success you need to suffer and I have done lots of the latter the two times I have run the New York Marathon. Both times the same predictable thing happened. I had my usual melt and cramp down between miles and 20 and 22, making what should be a triumphant run up Fifth Avenue and through Central Park a death march. It’s kind of hard to look cool and fit when you are walking and there is nothing worse than acknowledging people who treat you like a member of the Achilles Track Club with sympathetic support. So I don’t acknowledge – I silently redirect my self loathing at my mental and physical weakness by cursing them in my head and refusing to look at them. Of course they have 35,000 other chances to cheer better people than I on.

Despite the race being an overall awesome experience, I was left with bitterness, anger and disappointment when I ran the race in 2005 and 2007. It wasn’t my times that killed me (3.51 and 3.41); it was the fact that I didn’t accomplish my bare minimum – run the entire race. Time is important but so is the general goal of the race – run the whole goddamn thing. No one sets out to run 22 and walk 4.2 No one. So I cautiously approached the 2010 with hope but fear.

The first 22 miles were an afterthought, an obvious. With little training I could do 22 miles. But not the point. So when I started feeling the first calf cramp (ironic that I have virtually no calves but they are always the first to go). In the Bronx I assumed I was back in my usual home of misery. My hope was that meeting Mike at mile 21 for the final run in might prompt my ego to override the faulty wiring.

And it worked. At the risk of being dramatic, the last five miles of the race are as enjoyable a run as I have ever had. It hurt, it wasn’t fast (8.15/mile or so pace) but I ran every step of it. The cheers along 5^th Avenue and in the Park weren’t transcending but this time they weren’t annoying. And when I turned the corner from Central Park South to go back into the Park, I knew I had done it. The time (3.37) was satisfying but not the promised land. That’s for next year. Because I have entered the gates, now I aim for the prize.

2011

2010-11-21T06:24:00.000-08:00

I typically haven't planned out races or goals a year in advance. My rough plans usually consist of doing one marathon and a bunch of other to be determined races. I am going to try a different approach in 2011, as I want to move from participating to amping up my performance. I still have the goal in my head of doing a sub 12 hour Ironman but not next year. First I have to learn how to swim rather than my current approach of dragging as much water behind me.

So my preliminary 2011 schedule:

April Black Butte Olympic Triathlon - sub 2.45
Half marathon in June/July time frame - sub 1.33
Vineman or Big Kahuna Half Ironman - sub 5.4o
Grand Fondo - finish under 8 hours
Fall marathon (NY or CIM) - sub 3.30

Comfort Zones

2010-01-09T06:59:00.000-08:00

177.8 pounds

48 mile Paradise Loop Ride in a.m.

Frangie CrossFit WOD in 14 min 10 sec
Rounds of 21, 15, 9, 6, 3 for time of thrusters, pullups, pushups, air squats and situps

One of my exercise goals was to get to the point that I could do a decent workout everyday, but get in such good shape that it wouldn't really hurt. I'd push myself enough initially so I wouldn't have to push myself in the long run. Benching 200 pounds 10 times would seem easy and the seven-to-eight mile run would seem like two. After 12 years of basically uninterrupted workouts, I am at that point. I don't think the workouts are easy but I don't have the nervousness going into a workout that it will be super hard and there is no doubt as to whether I'll complete it. I know pretty much to the second how far I'll run and how many times I'll squat 122 pounds.

There is comfort in this approach. I'm keeping myself in decent shape and I'm relatively serene, but it really isn't taking my mind anywhere. After 29 years of exercise, I'm finally to the point where I'm ready to fully admit that it's my passion and hobby, and status quo isn't the way you should ever describe your passion. I say it all the time, and I have written it here countless times, but it really is time to get out of my comfort zone and start pushing myself.

So that's the general plan. I love my balance between lifting and endurance sports so I am not going to be branching too far from that gravitational pull. The idea is to start shocking the mind and body by walking out on the limb a little and do things like Levi's Grand Fondo and other 100 mile rides. Long rides definitely take me out of my mental comfort zone because it forces me to think for five hours with no Blackberry distractions.

Today is an example of what I am talking about. Weekends usually call for an 8 mile run but not today. I'm about to head out for a 45 mile ride, my longest in about three years, followed by a Cross Fit workout at Borders Gym. And to complete the triathlon, the third event will be remaining awake beyond 10:00 p.m. tonight to try and add an actual life to the back half of all these workouts. That could be the biggest challenge.

The Treadmill

2010-01-08T05:23:00.000-08:00

Weights and 175.4 pounds

I am developing an unhealthy obsession with the treadmill. I used to do all of my runs outside in Golden Gate Park, but am now doing the majority of them at Planet Fitness or the Holiday Inn in Kingston, NY. What is my problem?

I have no issue with running outside - I ran twice in Central Park when I was in New York a few weeks ago and loved it even though it was 20 degrees. But I had no treadmill option which I am sure I would have taken. My list of why I like the treadmill includes:

1) Predictability. Even though I run at virtually the same pace when I am outside, I know exactly how I am going to feel on the treadmill every time. My runs in Golden Gate Park can be painfully unpredictable, especially at night when I tend to have less energy than the morning (see reason four).

2) Weather. It is always 65-70 degrees with no rain or wind at Planet Fitness so I can run in shorts and T-shirts all the time.

3) Music. I hate using an iPod outside because it screws up my rhythm and pace. On a treadmill that is not an issue because you can run a constant pace no matter what the beat to the Madonna song.

4) No traffic. I am doing more of my runs after work in an attempt to live on the same time cycle as most adults. When I run downtown I have to run about a mile on the city streets and I am either going to die of a heart attack from waiting for red lights or get hit by a truck while jay walking. All green lights on the treadmill.

5) Vanity. As a vain person, part of what motivates me is checking out the shape and fitness level of other people which is much easier to do at the gym, particularly when you run on the only treadmill in the gym in front of a mirror.

6) Rainman. I have a border line obsession with numbers and while Gmaps is good for measuring the distance of running loops, it is not 100% accurate. On the treadmill I know I ran 7.61 miles in 60 minutes last night.

For the sake of my sanity, I can't do more than an hour on gym machines so I am going to go outside to do a 45 mile ride tomorrow. 3 hours or so on the Lifecycle would crush even my OCD spirit.

Blood Sport

2010-01-07T05:53:00.000-08:00

7.61 miles in 60 minutes (treadmill) and 175.2 pounds

Last night I went to Emily's house and hung out with her, Dave and Elena. While the general purpose of the night was to see Emily and Dave's awesome new house, it was a transparent excuse for me to dominate at ping pong. Other than running, I have spent more time playing ping pong than any other sport, although that is mostly from childhood when I used to play my dad every night after dinner. I have also been passing down the skills from this most intellectual of sports to Ben and Sam during our weekends at the Holiday Inn which has helped me rebuild and rediscover my game.

I was definitely on last night, and skillfully played the role of the guy at the party who takes the geeky sport a little too seriously, and crosses the line between admirable to weird.. It confirmed my conviction that if I had to pick a blood sport, a physical activity in which to play to save my life, it would definitely be ping pong. This doesn't mean that I consider ping pong to be the sport at which I am the best. It means that, if forced to play a random person off the street in a match for the prize of life, ping pong would be my best shot. I am good at endurance sports and I have a decent maximum bench press but a lot of people focus on these relatively mainstream activities. However, ping pong is kind of fringe. More people play beer pong than regular pong.

So I will keep nailing the daily workouts but when I am at the gates of purgatory, I'm whipping out my racket and we are going two out of three to determine my place in eternity.

What I eat

2010-01-05T05:59:00.000-08:00

7 miles in 55.19 (treadmill) and 173.6 pounds

It started innocently enough when I watched Food, Inc., Robert Kenner's awesome movie on the American food industrial complex. I know that I totally ignore the nutritional aspect of fitness. I don't have a horrible diet compared to most people but that isn't saying much. My usual weekly diet consists of burritos, pizza, chocolate chip cookies and bagels. Since I work out a lot, it hasn't affected my health but I am pretty sure I would be a faster athlete if I ate better and didn't exist in a constant state of dehydration.

Last night I went to an informational meeting on a cleansing diet, which is essentially three weeks of abstaining from meat, processed foods, sugars, wheat, coffee (no chance), alcohol, glutton, milk, etc. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to do it because it seems a little bit extreme but I am going to make a conscious effort to go organic, and try to avoid the cookie and ice cream fest. This might mean that I don't go to the diner for the usual omelets with Ben and Sam in Kingston, NY but there are worse tragedies in life.

One small reason I have refrained from these type of diets is the same reason why I have always avoided taking Ritalin. I might be borderline ADD but it is part of who I am and I have a fear of altering my personality (unless it is borderline destructive). I am the guy who loves french fries and pizza and I am OK with that image. Except maybe I don't need to be the one who subsists solely on that food from the back of the race.

The FitBut

2010-01-04T05:41:00.000-08:00

179.6 pounds
Weight lifting workout in the a.m.
45 minute Life Fitness Cycle - 577 calories at Planet Fitness

Part of the allure of exercise is that it feeds my Rainman obsession with number. I meticulously track each workout and record miles biked or ridden in not just once but multiple online and paper-based systems. It harkens back to my early fascination with bowling where the score was more interesting than the actual activity. I've only increased the fuel for the fire recently by buying a scale to add yet another statistic to track.

As if that weren't enough, I am seriously thinking of getting the FitBit, a new gadget to monitor and measure sleep patterns, calories burned, etc. This level of tracking might require a three dimensional spread sheet on Google Docs which could take my level of analness to entirely new level.

One side issue to the scale is that the correlation between weight and exercise seems unrelated. My weight fluctuates between 175 and 179 pounds and the amount I work out in the preceding day seems to have no effect on the number. It could just be related to how many grains of creatine I had that day.

Cycle of Soloism

2010-01-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

7 miles in 54.08 at Kezar Stadium

My philosophy towards religion and endurance sports is a combination of Marx's (Groucho, not Karl) maxim that I would never join a club that would have me as a member and the fear of feeling like a sheep. Hence I do not go to organized religious services (throw in the agnosticism as another reason) and I do all of my workouts alone. By running, cycling and lifting solo, I am also ensuring that I don't push myself beyond or below my comfort level. Of course it also guarantees that I won't improve or discover workouts beyond my basic few staples.

One of the reasons I signed up for the Grand Fondo 103 mile bike ride in October is to end this cycle of soloism. Several people I know are doing it so I'll have steady training partners for the next nine months. And if I can convince myself to make it to the Borders new Cross Fit gym (see above), I'll have yet another vehicle for endurance bonding. If I even rejoined one of the local triathlon clubs I would be in danger of being labeled a social animal and that would be crazy.

Good New Years Signs

2010-01-02T13:44:00.001-08:00

Maybe this is the start of pulling myself out of class A rut. In the last two days, I:

Did a CrossFit workout, nailing 19 sets for the Cindy workout;
Went on a 24 mile bike ride in 50 degrees and fog to boot and didn't do it solo;
Stayed up until 1:00 a.m. on NYE, and was even with people;
Signed up for the 103 mile leg of the Grand Fondo bike ride.

This does not represent a major break in my personality but it is a step away from the droning of the same workouts that I have been doing for the last six months. And there have been real signs of the hermit period coming to an end. If I can cure my whining, that will be real sign of progress

Zen of Kezar

2009-08-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was in the 9th mile of a 10 miler on the track at Kezar Stadium (sounds stupid but I like the Zen like aspect of running 40 laps like a metronome; it's like swimming laps at a pool without the pain of swimming) when I got stung by a bee. I spent about a lap hurling it away and pulling the stinger out. I thought there would be no residual affect but by 8:00 p.m. my neck hurt and it was a little swollen plus I started feeling achy. Of course that could have been from either walking four miles after my run because I locked myself out of my apartment yet again, or from bowling two games at Emily's birthday party. Sounds lame but I did nail a 127 and 100.

I almost signed up for an online coach this morning - I am principally looking at Focus-N-Fly. I know that being self trained, particularly when my coach prefers to give out the same workouts every day is not the best approach to excelling. However, most marathon schedules assume you run six days a week and I am typically hitting only four, in addition to the three days a week of lifting. I'd love to find a coach or system that could fit within this type of schedule. Ideally, there should be a running site like Cross Fit that doesn't list your workout until the night before, and you never know more than one day at a time.

I came very close this morning to going back on Creatine as I am beginning to feel like a cancer victim again although I have no proof that I have lost weight and my bench press is still the same. I fought the impulse, visualizing how it will feel to qualify for Boston but I could cave at any moment.

Chasing Time at SF Marathon

2009-07-27T17:29:00.001-07:00

Sometimes the sign of trouble is when everything goes well, you have no excuses but you still don’t do as well as you wanted. That’s what happened to me yesterday at the San Francisco Half Marathon.

I went into the race realistically hoping to run sub 1 hour 37 minutes with the faint hope of breaking 1.35 for the first time since going on Creatine. In the old days (4 years ago) I almost always beat my race goals. Back when running was easy. I have done a few 10 mile runs in
the past month, I was feeling great and, although my times for my habitual 8 mile runs have been slower the past year or so, they seemed on par with a 1.37 performance

The course for the half was a little challenging but awesome (although the race organizers suck)
with hills scattered throughout. However, from the first mile I felt good and loose, and full of energy. I felt like I went out pretty fast until I heard 8 minutes at mile 1. I didn’t get appreciably faster, hitting 5 miles in around 38.30 or so. And that’s when the mile markers disappeared for the next 40 minutes. I don’t think I would have been much faster than the 76.22 I went through at 10 but it would have been nice to have some fear to motivate me (I actually do have an excuse). I did accelerate the last 3 miles but slugged home in 1.38.46.

So I have a lot of work to do in the next 5 months if Boston 2010 is going to happen. Hopefully that will make it all the sweeter.

Footnote: My dad ran 1.58, which is incredibly impressive since he is in the 65-69 year old age group.

Hero for a day or a lifetime

2009-07-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

Nailing specific goals like marathons personal bests (or 20 straight pullups) requires periodization, meaning you train really hard for a few months a year and take it easy for a few months. Build up and break down. But I can't embrace this approach. I dread the hard stuff way too much and am racked with guilt if I do too much easy. That's one of the reasons I can't embrace Cross Fit. The crushing prospect of Angie would have me up all night in fear and the one day off every fourth day would have me convinced I was atrophying and acquiring fat, no matter what I did in the preceeding three days. So I remain stuck doing the same 8 mile runs, 210 pound bench presses (1oX mind you) and 15 pullups, convinced I am a hero.

Inspiration and revulsion

2009-07-19T20:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes inspiration doesn't come from the winner of the race. Today lance did not win Stage 15 of the Tour de France; he got 9th on the stage and relatively struggled in the last 5 miles. But watching him as a 37 year-old not giving up, fighting to maintain form was incredibly inspirational and pumped me up to do a 10.5+ mile run today. I didn't smoke it but it's the best I have felt on a long run in a while. With 6 more stages of the race, I anticipate several more charged runs.

After watching a segment on This American Life that documented genetically altered pigs, I am now giving up pork and beef. God help me if I watch Food, Inc. because I will then be forced to give up almost all forms of protein, including chicken, and then my life will lose all meaning. I have gone down this path before - in college I gave up pork and beef for about a year until I went to the US Open and devoured a plate full of nachos. I had a valid excuse as I was synthetically hungry.

Booked plane tickets for Ben and Sam's trip two week to California in August which will be awesome. Ben wants to go to either Yosemite or Joshua Tree to do some serious climbing; not sure I am officially on board with that yet (see yesterday's post) but at the least we can have Iron Gym contests in my apartment.

Fear and smaller me

2009-07-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I went rock climbing with Ben and Sam and I have finally hit the inflection point where they are both starting to exceed me in physical performance. Not only can Ben now do slightly more pullups than me but he is an incredible rock climber. We went to the world famous Shawangunks in New Paltz, NY and he went flying up 70 foot cliffs with little fear while I quit after 4 feet. Too scary.

I have been off Creatine for four days now in an attempt to lose some bulk and get down to 170 pounds by the California International Marathon. In the past three years, I have begun to go slowly slightly slower on my habitual 8 mile runs; I'm not sure if this is the inevitable sign of aging or if the extra 10 pounds have made a difference. I'm about to find out in the next five months although if I lose the weight but don't gain the speed I am not going to admit it's age.

Hack and the Flack is going really well. Mike and I have had some kickass interviews recently - many of course focused around Lance in interviews with Bill Gifford of Slate/Men's Journal and Bonnie Ford of ESPN, but we also had Dan "Fake Steve Jobs" Lyons of Newsweek, Emily Bazelon of Slate and Ashlee Vance of The New York Times. It has been much easier than I thought to get relatively famous reporters to agree to do the program but they of course have egos and want to push their names. As I do but they are just better at it so far.

Personal Records

2009-07-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

One of the good things about exercising is you can come up with goals you'd like to achieve, train for them and nail them. Result: you feel like you accomplished something in your life even if you aren't starting the next Google, curing cancer or becoming the next Governor of California (must read article). There are some people like J-Tris who seem to set a personal record for a marathon or Ironman every time they do one. I'm not of those people. Those goals don't come easy so I set my goals lower.

Recent accomplishments include:

1) Just did 17 pullups straight - this is nothing like Dave Borders 31 (which is captured on video) but he kips and I can't. My goal is 20 straight by the end of the year, which is a higher goal for 2009 than saving lots of $$.

2) Number of 400s in 1.45 or faster without pulling my hamstring. I hit 9 last week even though I was shooting for 12, but had slight pull on 9th one. It must have been the searing 1.39 I hit on the 8th.

3) Nailed my 14th week in a row of wimping out on back-back-to-back days of 10 mile runs. I say I am going to do it but then call up the rule of only one run over 8 miles per week, No rational for that rule other than fear of pain.

4) Number of articles I can read about Lance in one day that all say essentially the same thing. I believe I hit that with 24 yesterday.

Tomorrow's goal - number of times I can do the exact same 8 mile loop at the exact same pace yet think I am going to get faster. 9 years and counting.

Not ready to commit

2009-07-02T16:50:00.001-07:00

I am still going through an internal battle over my desire
to run a relatively fast marathon (sub 3.30) to qualify for the Boston Marathon
and my other interests and passions.

1) Diet.
I basically believe in the carbohydrate, fat and protein diet, and have a whine
fest if vegetables are suggested as the main part of a meal or fruit the
desert. I don’t need to radically reduce my body fat percentage but I am sure I
would feel better if I listened to some semblance of reason. But the whole
point of exercising is so I can eat whatever I want.

2) Ectomorph.
I alternate days of lifting and running, which results in me being a skinny
lifter and a heavy runner. I am
comfortable with this except the added 20 pounds or so of upper body bulk is
not helping me run faster. But it does prevent me from running everyday, which
I am sure would cause me to burnout. And look 70 years old. And be single. Oh
wait, I am.

3) Balance.
I do try and maintain some form of balance in my life, which means doing things
beyond just running. For example, I joined a tennis league, and the stopping
and starting of tennis isn’t helpful for long distance running. But I joined
and played a few matches, and ended up sore and almost injured my hamstrings.
So I quit the league. Of course, that was more because I lost my second match
than because I was trying to prevent injury.

4) Moderation.

I would rather run 5 miles a day and never get injured than try and train for a
marathon and get hurt. I like the daily endorphin fix rather than
pursuing the big goal with a cost. But then I change my mind when I read about
Lance going after his goal. I want both but not sure I can have them.
Especially when I tweaked my hamstring doing 400s today.

More to come.

Almost Water

2009-04-30T08:42:00.000-07:00

I am on my third day of the AquaHydrate Challenge, which calls for drinking at least two liters of this water-like product for six days, and avoiding any other water. I exist in a permanent state of dehydration; I just don't enjoy drinking water until I am totally depleted. This obviously doesn't help my performance at endurance sports. So it made sense to try and commit to this challenge to see if I could force myself to drink and see the effects.

AquaHydrate claims to absorb better than regular water and leaves you feeling less bloated (and I am a bloater). I went for my first run this morning since starting the challenge and I felt much better than usual and I ran about two minutes faster than normal. I did just break out a new pair of Asics 2130s (that are black no less) but still. I felt much more energetic and smooth. Not sure if it was the AquaHydrate but I am going 10 on Saturday so we shall see. Assuming I keep chugging the two liters.

Angie

2009-04-11T13:58:00.001-07:00

I keep saying I am going to start integrating CrossFit into my workouts but I haven't done it. Probably the main reason is that the most basic workout, Angie, intimidates the crap out of me. The workout is complete 100 pullups, then 100 pushups, then 100 situps and finally 100 wall squats. Other than the pullups, I am not to scared but the first 100 has me thoroughly intimidated.

Going to failure in any exercise is the epitome of pain and loss, and I am not a fan of either neighborhood. But to prove I am not getting old, I need to do it. So I am going baby steps - I just did Angie in 17 minutes 44 seconds, albeit only doing 50 pullups. It of course hurt but now I don't feel a day over 41.

Next weekend I go 70 pullups.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Zensah Compressions

2009-04-08T19:23:00.000-07:00

I usually arrive late to the gadget and gear party, if I come at all. Took me years to realize that 100% cotton shirts weren't necessarily the way to go and Dry Fit shirts mattered, and I still haven't embraced heart rate monitors. So when confronted with the new craze of compression socks I didn't even think about it. They looked like work socks meet the 1970's tube monstrosities. Why would this look be a good thing? It didn't make sense and I had no desire to look ridiculous.

Then I had the chance to test out a pair of Zensah compression socks. I had never heard of this performance sports apparel company until they reached out to me on Twitter (see, incessantly twittering about my daily 8 mile run and Lance's latest training ride has its benefits) to see if I would be interested in testing them. Free clothes? Sounded like an offer on which I don't usually pass.

The basic thrust of the compression sock is that, due to its tight fit, it increases oxygen blood flow which can improve performance. Sounds like a good value proposition, which might possibly overcome the ridiculous sight of me in long shorts and high socks, just revealing my hot knees.

So, two days after the black beauties arrived, I took them for a test run on the treadmill last night. And I give them a big thumbs up so far. I did a typical 7 mile run at 7:45-7:50 pace. Nothing too earth shattering. I didn't feel like I was floating; the run was not effortless or appreciably easier than my usual slogs.

But I did notice something that I also noticed when I took PureSport. At the usual point in my runs when I start to feel fatigued and it becomes actual work to maintain consistent pace, I didn't feel the drop in energy. I felt like I could have kept going for longer and when I eventually stopped after 54 minutes, 45 seconds, I felt much better than I normally do. This feeling kind if snuck up on me; it wasn't like I ever had this moment of euphoria when I realized how good I felt. It was more like the Zensah socks prevented me from spiraling downwards. They company also makes compression shirts, arm sleeves and shorts so I wonder if the effect of being totally enclosed in compression garments is an order of magnitude improvement over running naked. Definite test required.

I realize that these feelings could have been psychosomatic; I was hoping to notice some effect, I ran in the afternoon and inside rather than my usual morning outdoor run and it always feels good to wear something new. That being said, I am pretty pumped up to test them out my morning 8 miler tomorrow; the dilemma becomes do I ever wash these babies or just wear them everyday until I pass out from asphyxiation.

What's wrong with EPO

2009-03-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

Michele Ferrari, Lance's former trainer, is quoted in Daniel Coyle's awesome book Lance Armstrong's War, describing cheese and naps as performance enhancers that should be banned. He is obviously kidding but uses the humor to make the point that there are no black and white lines in the performance enhancer discussion. God did not proclaim from Mt. Sinai that EPO is bad, Power Bar good. These decisions have been made by human organizations based on some arbitrary set of guidelines, yet they are treated as scripture.

To support banning substances like EPO and steroids, there are a number of arguments that are used.

The Unfair Advantage

EPO gives a grossly unfair advantage to those who take it, destroying the competitive playing field.

There are a lot substances and tools that give its users an unfair advantage, and all can be acquired if you have lots of $$. Using a $5,000 Trek Madone rather than a $1,300 Biachi Imola creates as much advantage as EPO or not EPO. Hiring a coach like Mark Allen or Chris Carmichael for big bucks provides significant advantage over self coached athletes. Training at altitude versus sea level? Huge. None of these are banned. And competitive athletes don't share training principles. The whole point is to discover the best secrets - the shit that kills - and exploit them to the max until the competition finds them. EPO is no different.

Health Risks

We must protect the athletes from hurting themselves.

It can't be disputed that while EPO improves endurance athletes' ability to process oxygen and perform at a higher level, it also comes with long term health risks. But bombing down a slick Pyrenean road on ultathin tires at 60 mph is no picnic. Every year one or more cyclists dies in a crash and the only move that cycling authorities have made to address the issue is requiring plastic helmets. Running 100+ miles a week isn't good for you. A muscle biopsy on a 25-year old competitor after the 100 mile Western States race revealed the typical profile of a 75-year old. Female endurance athletes stop menustrating because they lack a healthy level of body fat. A growing number of people are dying of heart attacks during the swim portion of triathlons. Clearly, even without EPO, endurance sports at extreme levels aren't good for your health but noone is advocating banning them or their $500 entry fees.

Save the Kids

If we don't ban performance enhancers, little Johnny and Jane will take them so they too can excel at sports.

The CW is that if we don't ban EPO and steroids, American kids will all be inspired to to take them just like their heroes. Is this the exact behavior that needs to be controlled and influenced - a desire to do well in sports? The two top problems affecting America's youth are obesity and flopping in the classroom. We are producing stupid, fat kids. Steroids usage is becoming more prevalent in middle an high schools but not as much as twinkies and X-Boxes
and we aren't trying to ban them. Are we really worried that Arod is the bad influence, not our fat and lazy parents?

The point is not to legalize EPO and steroids today; it's to examine what we really want in our sports, whether as competitor or observe. If the whole point is to push the barriers of human performance, why does the line we won't cross have to be at EPO? Are these arcane rules similar to the Cambridge Deans in Chariots of Fire who objected to a paid coach?

Endurance Sports as Controversial Topic

2009-03-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

I aspire to be a writer, but I am searching for my topic, my inner muse. In the book I Talk About When I Think About Running, Haruki Murakami compares his approach to writing to running. It requires work and daily dedication and focus unlike natural writers who just have the words flow. I understand this but it also requires that you be passionate about the subject of your essay or book. If you don't feel strongly about a topic, your writing will be stunningly boring. And an unread writer is like a virgin porn star - worthless.

For example, while in Israel, I hung out with Seth Freedman a columnist for the Guardian, a British newspaper. Seth is a former member of the Israeli Defense Forces, and writes a twice weekly column principally on Israel's policies in Gaza and the West Bank. It's totally understandable for a former soldier to have strong opinions on policies that he had to enforce for 15 months. His columns are very provocative because he makes his opinions known.

It is painfully obvious that endurance sports are my preferred topic for espousing. But is there anything that can be written on the topic that can stir emotions other than agreement? I read a number of endurance blogs but they all are pretty much the same - emotional summaries of a workout or race in which the man or woman discovered their inner chi, salutes to the solidarity of the endurance community and a few self deprecating comments to make sure no one thinks they are taking themselves too seriously. This summarizes 79% of my entries.

Possible themes of controversy could include:

Prefabricated and expensive race experiences
Endurance bloggers and the disease of me
Defense of performance enhancers
Endurance lifestyle versus the endurance athlete
Occupied territories of running (OK - this doesn't exist but I need some bridge to the fascinating, intense topic of the Middle East)

There have to be more because endurance sports are like any drug - there is an upside and downside to it, depending how it is administered.

Cheap, smart or stuborn

2009-03-10T04:41:00.000-07:00

When I first started running 123 years ago, my dad would not buy me a pair of running shoes until I proved that I was committed to it. There is nothing more intimidating than a skinny white kid running a leg of a mile relay in high white socks and low top basketball shoes. Since I was denied a good pair of running shoes at the beginning, I coveted them and was very excited when I got my first pair of Nike waffle trainers. After that I wanted everything that my parents money could by me - Goretex jackets and pants, fancy watches, fancy running shirts, racing spikes, etc. I didn't get everything I wanted (I actually got very little) but it didn't stop me from wanting and even dreaming about a specific pair of Nike racing flats.

Fast forward to adulthood and I now have my own money and I can buy whatever I want. I still get excited when I go to a bike or running store and see all the cool gear and clothes. I just got a new pair of olive LiveStrong shorts and am in ecstasy. So the wanting hasn't stopped. However, I get slightly nauseous when I go to Ironman races and I see the people with their $5,000 bikes and $500 bike outfits (on which they are ironically providing free advertising for someone), particularly the people who don't even have a shot at beating me. I understand that equipment can help improve performance but will an incredible bike really make a difference for someone who is 40 pounds overweight?

So I am now at the point where I am trying to decide what stuff is actually worth the investment to help me improve as an endurance athlete. Given that I haven't ran and swum in over a year, I think my5-year old $1,200 Bianchi Imola bike and $20 Tyra goggles and suit will suffice for now. I go through new Asics every 15 weeks and still mostly run in Old Navy shorts (besides my aforementioned LiveStrong fetish). So I seem OK in the status quo.

But what about things that I have never really tried? How will I know if Zensah compression socks will help me or if PureSport drinks can really make a difference over the long term. Have I become a caveman fighting against electricity?

How do I go sub 3.30

2009-03-02T04:38:00.000-08:00

If I am going to qualify for the 2010 Boston Marathon by running a sub-3.30 marathon this year, I have to make sure I follow a serious training plan. It won't be easy as 2007 when I ran 3.27.40 because I am not willing to go off Creatine in order to get my weight back down to 170. I know I can qualify at 180 if I train smart. But what does that mean?

1) Don't run more than 8 miles more than once a week. In the past I have gotten too hyped up about long runs and have done several 10+ mile runs in a week. This pushes me closer to getting injured and ends up killing me mentally. Even though it's only 16 minutes longer than an 8 mile run, 10 is much tougher and slowly eats away at my motivation if I do too many of them.

2) I must do at least a 10 mile run every week, even if it means before work. Just as too many 10 milers is brain numbing, not enough can kill me too. The benefits are more for my mental stability because if I have done a 10 miler the previous week, a 16 or 18 miler won't seem that much longer.

3) Do some speed work at least once every two weeks. As I get older, I am still running sub 8 minute miles on all my runs but it seems harder. This doesn't mean I have to go to the track and rip of 20 quartes at 65 seconds. I just need to get to the point that I can consistently rip off a 5 or 6 miler at 7 minute pace, which will make 8 minute pace a walk in the park. There are 10k races in the Bay area almost every weekend. I also need to do several Yasso's at 7 minute pace just to be one of the cool kids.

4) I need to make sure I have some balance. One of the main reasons I am not doing triathlons anymore is I wanted to make sure I had some semblance of a life, and when I trained for the Ironman I let it take over my life. Training for a marathon takes half the time if not less as training for an Ironman - lots of time for a life.

5) Fitness needs to be more than just the marathon. One of the goals of working out is to qualify but I also can't be afraid to test myself physically in other areas like Cross Fit or long bike rides. One of the reasons I don't want to go off Creatine is I like feeling strong and fit, but I am still tending to demonstrate that just by lifting and runnning. It's time to incorporate Angie, Barbara and Chelsea.

6) Have a goal post Boston. Once I do qualify for Boston, what I am I going to have left as a goal. One of the reasons I stopped doing triathlons shortly after the 2006 Lake Placid Ironman is I didn't feel like doing another one would be motivating unless I had a big goal out there like going sub 12 hours. I don't think I am prepared to do the hard training needed to go much faster than 3 hours 30 minutes, but will I be happy trying to qualify for Boston a second time?

Excel on Cross Fit Endurance?

2009-02-28T14:56:00.000-08:00

I keep going back and forth on whether I want to incorporate Cross Fit workouts into my normal routine of running, lifting, pushups, pullups and situps. Dave and Emily are big proponents of it and it has gone from fringe to mainstream in the last year.

Key benefits to the workouts include: 1) It is unpredictable, incorporating different routines everyday; the next day's workout is not posted until that night so there is little chance of boredom; 2) Each routine has a goal - either complete a specified workout as quick as possible or how much can you do in a set time. Since I am obsessed by the clock, this is perfect for my motivation; 3) A lot of the exercises are ones everyone does so it's easy to brag; e.g., I did 100 pullups, 100 pushups, 100 air squats and 100 situps in 15 minutes! (I didn't really - I'm not doing that workout until I can do 20 pullups straight; 4) it gets you ripped - almost every person on the Cross Fit site is in incredible shape and these aren't models.

And it gets even better. There is even a Cross Fit Endurance (CFE) site for runners, bikers and swimmers who want to incorporate it into their life. Each day you do the normal Cross Fit WOD (workout of the day) and another one specific to your endurance sport. The workouts aren't my normal 8 mile runs - they mostly alternate between race pace workouts for 3-6 miles or intervals of 400-800 meters. Thes site claims, and it is backed up by testimonials, that you can do a marathon on as little as 15 miles a week.

Here is the problem. My number one goal this year is to qualify for the 2009 Boston Marathon which will require me to run sub 3.30. So far, I have not found any examples of CFE athletes who can run that fast, and this isn't exactly a blazing time. Most of the testimonials are for people who basically trained just to finish rather than excel. I'm not trying to win any races but it seems kind of ridiculous for CFE to rip traditional endurance training as bogus when they aren't offering athletes who are excelling with the CFE routine. It is admirable that they have these people who did 50 mile races after losing 100 pounds on CFE but I aspire to more than not being fat.

I'm not ruling Cross Fit Endurance out - I have just seen no evidence how it will help me reach my goal more than my ongoing an eternal 8 mile runs.

PureSport

2009-01-31T05:50:00.000-08:00

I am not the most nutritionally sound person. I don't come close to my daily requirements for vegetables or fruit, I almost never get the recommended daily 64 ounces of fluid and I consume too much trans fats. Although I can't quantify its affects, it is obviously having a detrimental impact on my athletic performance. It takes much less effort to eat well than it does to work out every day but I seem to have a mental or tastebud block against doing it. I know if I want to stretch my endurance and get faster and reach level three in all the Petraneks in 2009, I can't keep futiley tapping against this block.

Step one in my nutritional makeover could be PureSport. A former client who now works there recommended that I give it a try. It has the same premise as most of the other sports drink like Acclerade or Kona Endurance (KE that is an example of a company that doesn't know how to market - 20 tweets a day saying we rock is not marketing and offering to sponsor athletes by sending them $200 off coupon if they spend $800 is lame) - there are pre-workout and post-workout drinks that contan lots of electrolytes and protein to help you perform and recover from hard workouts. The difference for me in PureSport is that I know someone who works there, they are a new company without slick marketing (although they have some huge sponsored athletes including Michael Phelps, Nastia Liukin and several other Olympians) and the way you take it is a challenge in and of itself.

Before a workout, you chug 16 ounces of the liquid and after you do the same for a slightly different drink formula. For me, drinking 32 ounces of anything in such a short time is a challenge, let alone right before and after an 8 mile run. Completing the drinking is almost as much of an accomplishment as the workout.

I have tried PureSport once, two days ago when I ran my usual 8 miles. I am coming off a bad cold so I ran pretty slow for me (7.57 pace) and felt pretty tired during the run. Running with the extra 16 ounces didn't really affect me although I did feel like I had a little more energy than I should have had given my cold. The most noticeable impact was how I felt after the run and after drinking the recovery drink. I felt like I hadn't run at all. I do recover pretty quickly from workouts, but this time I felt great, better than I had since I first got my cold five days prior. I don't tend to push my workouts so I don't usually get sore so I can't claim that PureSport eliminated any of my usual soreness, but maybe if I get balls and start pushing it more I will be able to make that observation.

I am doing the Kaiser Half Marathon on Sunday so that will be an even better test for PureSport, and maybe then I can adopt PureSport t-shirts and pants as my new outfit rather than gray t-shirts and jeans.

Addendum
I might be getting hooked. I ran 6 miles this morning and figured I didn't need to drink anything pre-run. My run was horrible compared to the 8 miles on Thursday. It's definitely residual affects of the cold but I highly suspect the PureSport was also a factor. I felt as good the first 2-3 miles as I did on Thursday but then got really tired coming back. Let's just say I gulped down the recovery drink.

Sleepless in SEA Gate A2

2009-01-16T21:36:00.000-08:00

The word rut generally has a negative connotation and most people try and avoid them. It conjures up images of doing the same thing over and over again, day after day in an endless cycle of repetition and boredom. Conventional wisdom is that you should always be trying new things and going on new adventures.

I take a slightly different take on the rut. I do like to go to different places and experience different things, but I like to bring my rut with me. I like to combine going on vacation or a business trip with my daily exercise rut or same bedtime or morning or bedtime read. It puts me in my comfort zone, no matter where I am.

So tonight will be a slight challenge to maintain some level of comfort. I was supposed to meet Ben at Seattle Airport at 9:00 p.m. and we would then hop on the 10:15 p.m. flight to JFK for a fun weekend of skiing in the Catskills. Except Ben's flight from Redmond was canceled due to fog I am stuck waiting for him at the airport until 7:00 a.m. (hopefully). So I am going to try and create my rut at gate SEA Gate A2. I already did my situps before I found out Ben's flight was denied the ability to complete it's full potential so I got that behind me. So I am going to try and escape into a Benadryl-induced sleep as close to my normal 10:00 pmish bedtime as possible, to awake at 5ish to do 500 pushups. If Ben's plane is further delayed then I could be here all day. I'll have to descend into an all day Heroes extravaganza on Netflix on demand - the WiFi connectivity will be better than at Rebecca's or on Colin Northway.

UPDATE: Ben now doesn't get here until 1:00 pm tomorrow. Thinking positive, I could nail 1,000 pushups before he gets here.

Does racing ruin the fun

2009-01-10T09:36:00.000-08:00

Part of the purity of running, and other endurance sports to an extent is that you can do them anywhere, don't need to rely on other people to do them and they require no membership fees. Except if you want to enter a race, and those benefits are all eliminated. But you need the race for motivation and to focus your training. I'm not sure I would be willing to do a 15 mile run or 60 mile bike ride unless I had the fear of being unprepared for a marathon or half Ironman.

But even as I have become motivated to qualify for the Boston Marathon, I have grown weary of the sheep like mentality of signing up for and doing races. My inherent issues:

1) Running at 5:00 a.m. makes me feel special and elite. Running a race with 8,000 people isn't special.

2) I am inherently cheap and paying someone $100 to help me feel tired seems immoral. The thrill of the free shirt has almost evaporated since I don't wear the shirts for fear of looking like a running geek (the truth hurts).

3) My satisfaction from being fit and dedicated to exercise should all come from within. I resent that I feel the need to measure myself versus other people's performance or against a specific race.

4) I feel like I focus more than enough on endurance fitness; races only make me more regimented and unbalanced.

5) I never would join a club that would have me as a member. I find runners and triathletes to be slightly sanctimonious, almost religious in their zeal. And that is a problem.

I'm sure I'll keep signing up for the races but I am not necessarily happy about this part of the fitness bit.

Life without late nights

2009-01-05T11:00:00.000-08:00

Late night, loud and crowded parties have not excited me for years. In high school they were novel and exciting, particularly since I never got to completely experience them since my curfew was 11:00 p.m., tops. In college, it was part of being a dude, something I desperately wanted to be (and still do). Post college it was supposed to be the best way to meet women although I don't think I ever successfully did it at a bar or party.

In the last 10 years, the combination of drinking less and working out more (which means going to sleep and waking up earlier) has made me a complete lightweight. The result; I have a window of about 60 minutes between when I start drinking and when I get tired. Never mind getting drunk; it's all about trying to maintain consciousness. And when I do manage to stay up past midnight, it's not like I am missing some deep, meaningful conversations that don't occur at 8:00 p.m or 6:00 a.m. There is no secret to human interaction that gets revealed at 1:00 a.m.

But it can't be doubted that meaningful human bonding occurs late night. For example, I can't participate in any conversation that starts with "remember when we ___ at 2:00 a/m. That was righteous." I am now devoid of that type of shared experience. Is it possible to have meaningful friendships between 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m?

The speedwork yesterday was a huge success - I nailed the halves in 3.27, 3.27. 3.26, 3.25, 3.24 and 3.18. Beyond the actual change of pace from my usual 8 mile slog, I actually felt like an athlete since there was a rhyme and reason to the workout. I actually engaged my brain in deciding to do this workout and was rewarded by exceeding my expectations. But I am still going to keep mindlessly doing pullups with no rest. And I only bonded with myself.

Speed work and treadmills

2009-01-03T11:48:00.000-08:00

It is time for my first speed workout in 25 years. With my manic commitment to qualifying for the Boston Marathon this year, I need to change up my moronic training program of running the same pace regardless of distance. This is a formula for a long, slow inevitable decline in performance. Maybe not this year but soon. So I am going to hit Kezar tomorrow and do a short version of the Yasso workout. If I can hit six 800s in 3.30-3.35 I'll be happy. I'll probably feel fat and bloated because I didn't do the usual 8 miles. I certainly can't complain that running on a track is boring since I have done 10 miles on a track and on a treadmill.

That's what I did yesterday. It was slightly rainy yesterday, I was feeling wimpy and I wanted to workout with Rebecca so I went to JCC and did 10 on the treadmill. The pluses - I am comfortable running with an iPod on a treadmill since I don't have to worry about the music affecting my pace. The temperature is a perfect 72 and I can play endless anal math games while staring at the digital readouts. I can amuse myself by people watching even if I am stuck by the door with no mirror like I was yesterday. The minuses - I am not particularly good at letting my mind drift in even the most beautiful outdoor runs so there is zero chance of this happening on a treadmill. And with no wind in a gym, I am soaked at the end of even short treadmill runs. Particularly when I am forced to run shirtless in boxers.

On top of age, the creatine induced weight might now be a major issue on my slightly slower running times. Before getting on the treadmill yesterday I was 183 (180 after). This is the most I have weighed since I hit the scales at 190 in 1990 (after a five egg omelet). The difference now is that I am in much better shape (much lower body fat) but the extra 10 pounds are definitely hurting my running, particularly on uphills. But I have this fear of being the emaciated old distance runner. Plus Rebecca did a 66 second handstand compared to my 65 second. I can't let up.

Trust

2009-01-02T09:22:00.001-08:00

I aspire to be both a trusting person and someone who can be trusted. The first part is relatively easy for me. I tend to believe that what you see from people is what you get, that most people are inherently honest. I don't necessarily believe that my friends will always be there for me but if they specifically say they will do something, or that they did something, I believe them

On the other hand, given that I am a guarded person, there have been occasions when people have not trusted me. They think that I am holding back information or not giving out all of the necessary information to protect some act of dishonesty. This is a dilemma because I don't like talking about myself that much, so don't necessarily reveal all of the minutia of my life. What seems like unimportant facts can seem like planned omissions or secrets. Being a good friend requires honest, open communication but determining what constitutes necessary information versus trivial is a challenge for me. Do I regurgitate all the events and thoughts of my day and allow the listener to pick and choose what they think is important? Like the Lance observations or top ten best places to get french fries?

Resolutions

2008-12-31T09:19:00.000-08:00

I am a big fan of the New Year's resolutions. I pretty much view every day as the opportunity to start anew and make significant changes even if I actually never do accomplish it. That's why I prefer mornings to evenings. At night I tend to focus on what I didn't do that day rather than what I did. Maybe I need to check the items on my to do list rather than erase them when I am done with them. When I wake up in the morning it is a completely clean slate; I have done nothing to disappoint myself.

That's what the morning of January 1 is like; a completely clean slate. Which is why I don't get the whole binge drinking on December 31. Starting a clean slate with a hangover is a recipe for failure. Plus I am a lightweight.

Some of the resolutions I am willing to go public with are:

1) Get sponsored for endurance sports, no matter how small. A free pack of gu, a free t-shirt, whatever. I don't need a $100k contract or free sneakers. Whoever sponsors me gets a free logo on this high traffic site

2) Run two marathons, annihilate the New York Marathon to get revenge for 2005 and 2007 and run under 3.30 to qualify for Boston 2010.

3) Get to level 3 in all Petraneks. This might run counter to goal two but if I complete this then I am very close to reaching level four and becoming a 16 year old female gymnast.

4) Read much more. I religiously follow the four horsemen (Krugman, Friedman, Dowd and Kristoff) but I need to expand my knowledge. I tend to get bored of reading about politics and government in non-election years but Obama year 1 should be fascinating as well as the continued rise, fall and rise of Gavin Newsom.

5) Be totally organized. I need to let my complete anal retentive man out to play this year.

Random Updates

2008-12-30T15:52:00.000-08:00

I have been going back and forth on whether to try and qualify for the Boston Marathon, which is one of the big swinging dick accomplishments of geeky runners. I was pretty much resigned to postponing trying it until 2010 since the qualifying standard for 40-44 year old men is 3.20 and that ain't happening as long as I refuse to train with some semblance of intelligence. But I just checked the Boston Marathon site and the qualifying time you need to hit is for the age group that you will be on race day. I'll be 45 in April 2010 so I just need to run 3.30 or better next fall. In other words, screw NY Marathon and its hills next year - I am going back to do the flat California International Marathon to nail the time.

I was in New York a week ago and I have officially become a wussy. I had several opportunities to go skiing (even for free on my birthday) but didn't because I didn't feel like getting cold. And it was 25 degrees, not bone numbingly cold. I need a major gut check in 2009 or I am going to go speeding into old age in a hurry. Youth isn't just about feeling good or being in shape, it's about attacking challenges. And sitting in the Belleayre Lodge sipping $3 crap coffee while Sam snowboarded is not attacking.

I am waiting to baited breath whether Kona Endurance will sponsor me. I have given them several ground breaking proposals involving the SF Triathlon Club and CrossFit and am awaiting a response. This will be a good test as to whether Twitter makes for a good agent.

Almost 44 years old

2008-12-13T06:06:00.001-08:00

Six days post marathon and for the first time I am not suffering from a lack of focus or post marathon blues. I don't know what my next race will be but it will be a long one and it will be soon. CIM buzz is still there and I want more of it.

One day before my 44th birthday and the issue is whether I need to start becoming comfortable with the onset of a steady decline in performance. I feel awesome during most of my workouts, as good or not better than I did 10 years ago. But peak performance for endurance athletes is not on this side of 40. My saving grace is that I have trained mostly like an idiot for the last ten years. No speed work, no hard day easy, and certainly no attention to nutrition or training. So if I were to actually pay attention to any of those "secrets," I might combat the slight percentage declines in performance each year I get more mature.

But I'm not sure if I really want to do that. There is a certain pride I take from doing things the stubborn way. I know not resting after the marathon hasn't been wise. My left quad hurts since I went right back to running 5-6 miles. But I like being the guy who doesn't rest. I like being the person who leaves the party early so he can run at 3:00 am on a Saturday before an early flight. I like having Rebecca try and talk me out of doing pullups every day. That is my equivalent of winning a race because I live for the spontaneous admiration as opposed to the planned, expected one. It's why I don't like my birthday. Once a year, everyone has to pay attention to you, give you props. And that feels cheap and forced. I'd rather get their attention for just being me on a normal day. The surprising attention is more exciting, even if I make it happen by doing things that I know will get it. Like working out every day. Or doing pushups at OAK gate 5.

Breakthrough Race

2008-12-08T13:52:00.001-08:00

I didn’t set any personal records but yesterday’s California International Marathon was the race I have been waiting for my entire life. I always hear stories about people discovering untapped strength when they do endurance events and learning about themselves. This has never happened to me. Until yesterday, my best race ever was the 2006 CIM marathon because I ran a whole marathon for the first time ever and beat my dream goal of sub 3 hours 30 minutes. But this race went like a dream. I trained really well, ran on a perfect course, got great weather and never was in trouble physically.

This year I trained well but I just didn’t have it on race day and the weather was cold and damp. For the first six miles, I didn’t want to be running. 26 miles seemed very intimidating and I had no passion for what I was doing. Then I saw Rebecca cheering at mile 7 and for the first time all day, actually conceived of finishing. I saw her again at the half marathon point and got another charge.

However, once I hit mile 20, things started going downhill in a hurry. I started getting cold and the inevitable quad soreness and calf cramps began. I held it together mentally for awhile but at mile 22, I walked for 20 seconds and assumed I would do yet another 5 mile death walk, and
the attendant tales of woe. I started to play the “run a minute walk 10 second” game which never works. Except that I ran for a few minutes and started to get pissed, thinking why the hell should cramps defeat me? I was staring a mental test in the face and finally realized that this is what a marathon is about. It’s not about training so well that you avoid the wall. It’s about what happens to you when you hit the wall. All of a sudden I felt the best I had all day. The cramps and fatigue didn’t disappear. I still felt like crap, but it didn’t matter. I was in the moment and it was not going to defeat me yet again. I didn’t finish strong but I did finish proud and pumped. It was the breakthrough I have always wanted. The 3 hours 33 minutes and 24 seconds I raced were transformative.

So there is no post race retirement. I am in. Bring on the last four miles of NYC in Central Park, or the Ironman. Because my mind is finally catching up with my body.

Can lightning strike twice?

2008-11-29T11:50:00.000-08:00

About a week to go before my next marathon and I am not exactly sure what is going happening next Sunday. When I did the California International Marathon two years ago, I was totally ready for it on pretty much every level. I was in great shape, had done all the long runs, escaped injury and sickness, and was super motivated to finally break 3.30 minutes. And I did it. It was probably the best race of my life.

This year things have gone good and bad.

+/- I haven't had any really injuries in the past year and I have avoided bad colds. In fact,, I haven't missed a work out in over 300 days, which could be actually really stupid. Since my mental well being depends on a daily workout, I don't ever get the critical rest I need to build up and improve, and also don't do super hard workouts since I am never fresh enough to do them. But I am willing to sacrifice this to maintain my sanity.

- I didn't quite do as many long runs as I wanted; my three longest ones were 18.2, 16.3 and 15.8. Two weeks ago I wanted to do 18 but cramped at around 16 miles.I am rationalizing this by blaming it on a very warm that day. Of course at the end of the 18.2 miler I did do I was cramping big time and it was a perfect running weather. The last two days I did a 12 and 10 mile run and I managed to hold it together. So I have some hope.

- I am about 10 pounds heavier for this race than I was two years ago. This is primarily due to my creatine addiction, which I have taken every day for the last 19 months. This extra 6-7% body weight is not going to do me any good in the race and might be the source of my recent cramping due to the extra pounding. I am going to try and keep off the creatine for the next week in the hope that I can drop a few pounds.

+ Mentally I am excited to do the race. It is a completely flat if even a little bit downhill race but I have no illusions that it will be easy. However, I am going to enjoy the race no matter what and will not be crushed if I don't run another 3.27.40. It's not even a goal.

The goals:

1) Run the whole race
2) Break 3.37
3) Break 3.30.

After this it's on to training for more marathons, the Death Ride, 508 and CrossFit.

Political Science 2008

2008-11-09T16:53:00.000-08:00

I don't consider myself to be a political junkie even though I am Union College, Class of 86, political science major. I like to stay engaged in the process and issues, principally by reading the four horseman (Kristoff, Krugman, Friedman and Dowd) but the minutia of policy debate doesn't charge me up. However, five days into the early days of the Obama-Pelosi-Reid mandate, and I am finding myself glued to every new posting on Caucus and any word that comes out of my new messiah, Rahm Emanuel's mouth.

I was extremely happy when Bill Clinton became president in 1992. It followed a period in which Republicans had been President for 20 out of 24 years; basically my entire consious life. But the victory was not as clean or pure as this one seems. Clinton was a flawed candidate and he did not come into office with the kind of mandate to govern that Obama has. Also, while we were in a recession then as we are now, it did not seem like we needed a seismic change in the way we govern both domestically and internationally. Don't get me wrong; I think the Clinton presidency was a success. No matter how much credit you assign to him, the fact was his presidency occured during a eight year run of economic growth and peace.

Obama is and has the potential to be the transendent president that we need and it is not about race. That's why I was slightly offended when McCain's first words in his concession speech was recognition of the pride the African American community was feeling. This election means a lot to people many for lots of different reasons. People see in Obama what they hope government can be, what a moral, intelligent and interested president can be, not an African American politician. Certainly his race amplifies the enormity and meaning of this election, but as a white male in San Francisco, Obama's election gives me as much hope for this country as an African American in Mississippi (even if it is a red state).

Now I better be able to get CBS on my cable-less TV so I can catch 60 minutes tonight.

Iron Gym

2008-11-08T16:18:00.001-08:00

Success! After years of thinking about getting a pullup bar, I got the Iron Gym, put it together in 20 minutes and it works. This is a monumental moment, less because I can now add pullups to my exercise rut but because I have been rightly accused of commiting to things and not following through. Of course buying a pullup bar does not not constitute a paradigm shift in my habits but it is a small step.

I was listening to an interview with Lance in which he said that one of the things he loves about biking is that he gets to sit and think for hours without having to speak to anyone. I am more used to running and thinking, then biking and thinking and I think they are two different beasts. Although I am in pretty good shape, it is really rare that I actually feel good when I am running. There is always a certain level of discomfort going on, and it is hard for my mind to drift or to have seriously constructive thoughts such as short and long term planning. Of course, calculating how far I've gone in tenths of a mile, and running the same exact course whenever I run doesn't exactly get the creative juices flowing. On the bike, there is more time for reflection, given that there are times when you aren't pushing it as hard on flats or downhills. Plus the miles go by faster and it is hard to keep looking at your watch, so your mind is more susceptible to wandering. Since I plan to bike a lot more in 2009 (60-100 mile rides will hopefully be commonplace), I'll have more time to test this theory.

Signs of A Successful Run

2008-11-07T04:50:00.000-08:00

As I contemplate this weekend's 18-19 mile run, it is sits there as an ugly challenge that I know will make me suffer but will hopefully be rewarding when I finish. 10 signs that I look for to judge that it is rewarding are:

1) I don't spend the entire run praying for it to be over and actually enjoy some moments of being outdoors and able to run

2) My body survives without cramping and breaking

3) I don't yell or give the death stare to a motorist who blows through a green light and forces me to wait 12 seconds due to stupid pedestrian laws

4) I finish slightly faster than some arbitrary time goal I set prior to the run - too slow and I have finally entered my physical decline, too fast and I am worried I peaked too soon

5) I am actually able to enjoy food after the run, the whole point of doing it

6) Some company drives by me when I am running and throws sponsorship money at me

7) I finish motivated enough to commit to some new crazy challenge like Ironman Canada, The Furnace 508 or The Death Ride.

8) I don't kill the rest of the day post run by mathematically analyzing the run for seven hours.

9) Dave and Emily don't kill me for once again blowing off another CrossFit workout

10) It brings me thatmuchcloser to qualifying for Boston

2008-11-04T20:08:00.001-08:00

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2008-11-04T11:39:00.001-08:00

2008-11-04T05:58:00.001-08:00

Live from Kingston

2008-10-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

On the plane to New York last night, there were several people obviously traveling to do the New York City Marathon (either talking really loudly about it or wearing subtle shirts from previous marathons). When I didn't get in through the lottery this year I convinced myself that I didn't care, that I have already done the race twice and had painful if memorable experiences. But listening to them talk and seeing all the traffic signs warning of delays and road closures on Sunday for the race has me bitter and envious. I am going to have to pound the treadmill on Saturday and Sunday to try and deal with my angst.

I hit the scales at 178 pounds this morning which is around what I have been for the last year, a result of taking creatine for the last 20 months. Without creatine, I am around 170 pounds when I run 30-35 miles a week and lift three times a week . And a little bit faster. And a little weaker.

Given that I am trying to do well in marathons and triathlons, this extra weight is not doing me any good other than helping my sensitive ego. The creatine addiction all stems from seeing a photo from a half marathon in February 2006 in which I looked emaciated and old. I started on creatine in the hopes of gaining 5-10 pounds and filling some of the gaunt lines on my face. Presto it worked. I have considered going off the powder but visions of getting weaker dance in my mind so I stay on it.

Sam is 12 and has just about hit the stage where he doesn't want to hang out with his dad on weekends. I am OK with that; it's awesome that he has lots of friends who love spending time with him. But that leaves me sitting in the Kingston Holiday Inn (the Velodome section to be sure) waiting to pick him up from his night on the town. I should use this time to write a novel or pick a cause to support. Or watch a boring Celtics-Bulls game.

6 Weeks Out

2008-10-26T12:46:00.001-07:00

Six weeks out from the marathon and I am feeling pretty good about where I am.

Physical
Other than feeling like I look like a methadone addict thanks to Dave, I survived today's 18 mile run relatively injury free and did it at around 7.52/mile pace . The last four miles I was fighting cramps in my calves (which is akin to the feeling amputee victims feel when they have an itch on the limb that was removed, given that I have no calves) and hamstrings, particularly on the downhills. The bright side is I was looking forward to uphills at the end as it stretched out my legs. Now if I could just use that approach to make me like eating vegetables instead of french fries. Maybe a Clockwork Orange brainwashing would work.

In the last month, I have done 12, 14, 16.3 and 18.2 mile runs and have thus far avoided (knock on wood, spit on index finger) the usual quad injury and bad cold. A couple more 16-19 mile runs and I should be ready for sub 3.30 although I am still curious as to what the affect of my creatine-enduced weight increase from 170 in December 2006 to 177-180 will have on my time and experience. A 5% increase, even if it is from an emaciated base, has to do something.

Emotional
While training for my last marathon, New York 2007, I was not particularly inspired or motivated. I had caught my Moby Dick the year before, breaking 3.30, and I had already done New York in 2006. I was excited to do the race with my Dad but getting accepted to the race and avoiding a crippling injury while training had been all I needed to do that. I trained almost enough to do well but didn't have that spark to go beyond 16 miles. And it showed when I crawled home the last 4 miles. This year, despite or maybe because I am going through some emotional, relationship-type issues, I have been super inspired to train for this race because it does matter to me. It is probably not super healthy to bury my emotional issues, many of which I create, in a long run or heavy bench press, but I do it. Endurance sports are part of me that can't be taken away. It's my religion.

Crossfit endurance

2008-10-25T07:04:00.000-07:00

According to Dave, my organizational guru and a budding disciple of the Crossfit religion, endurance sports produce oxidative stress, which can have an incredibly bad impact on the body. This is causing me some concern as I plan my 18 mile run tomorrow in preparation for the December 7 marathon.

Scientifically stated, oxidative stress is caused by an imbalance between the production of reactive oxygen and a biological system's ability to readily detoxify the reactive intermediates or easily repair the resulting damage. The main thrust; 50-year old marathoners and Ironpeople look very old and wasted (or meth addicts according to this video) because they have spent 20+ years poisoning themselves with reactive oxygen and can't repair the resulting damage.

The solution according to some is a Crossfit approach to exercise. Rather than going long and slow for 1+ hours or more, Crossfit is quick, explosive and hard workouts such as doing 100 pullups, 100 pushups and 100 situps as fast as you can. There are even workouts tailored just for endurance athletes. I haven't read everything yet to be informed but I think the claim is on no more than 60 minute training runs, a Crossfit God completed a 50 mile run by focusing on the explosive workouts.

I consider myself somewhere in the middle between Crossfit and 100 mile/week running fanatics since I alternate lifting one day and running the next. However, Dave and other Crossfitters claim a focused Crossfit program is way beyond normal workouts. After I finish the marathon, it might be time for me to end the 25 year exercise rut.

Stop Coasting

2008-10-18T07:12:00.000-07:00

I don't want to be a coaster. On paper, I don't look like one. I have a good job, I work out every day, I am a responsible father but I don't push myself. For example, my goal with exercise was to get to a point where I could do a respectable workout without killing myself. I lift generally the same amount of weight that I did 10 years ago and run the same eight mile route at the same pace. This isn't disgraceful but it certainly isn't something I want on my tombstone.

I need to get out of my comfort zone, in endurance sports, work and relationships. I am generally a happy person but there could be more if I pushed myself. If I ask myself what have I done recently that am I really proud, answers don't come flying off the page.

So I need to set goals, big ones. I'll start with endurance sports which seems like the easiest list to craft. By the end of 2009 I want to:

Sign up and do the Death Ride, a 100+ mile bike ride in Tahoe
Be more flexible - stretch twice a day - come within the same area code as my toes
Get sponsored by someone
Run three marathons AND qualify for Boston in 2010 - this means sub 3.20
Sign up for a 2010 Ironman where I will break 12 hours
Join Masters swim program and stop drowning

It starts today.

I signed up

2008-09-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

After a 12 mile run on Saturday and 7.5 miles on Sunday, I felt either confident or stupid enough to sign up for the California International Marathon on December 7. I did this race in 2006 and its was the only marathon I really consider to be a success. I have about 9 weeks to get ready for this race. I define ready as as

1) At least three long runs over 16 miles with a long of 19-20 miles. In 2006, my three long runs were 16, 17.2 and 18.7.

2) Avoid injury and colds. In 2006 I never got injured and never got sick, which is why my training was so consistent. I have been feeling great the last few months; my right quad is a little sore after this weekend but nothing too scary.

3) Get in the zen state of mind. In 2006, I was driving to the race and listening to an interview with Mark Allen, the six-time Ironman winner. I love his philosophy of staying in the moment, that no matter how bad you feel in one moment, that can quickly change and if you just ride it out you will make it to the finish. His new book come comes out December 1 which will give me 6 days to get into the Zen.

4) Nailing my race goals which are: a) finish; b) run the entire race; c) break 3:30; d) break 3.27.40.

Obama Shows Game

2008-09-24T19:38:00.000-07:00

I think we just had the first seminal event in the presidential election. Today McCain recommended postponing the first debate so he, of infinite wisdom, could rush to DC and save the economy. I guess his eight years of pushing government deregulation of the financial sector wasn’t working well. My first reaction was Obama had no choice but to agree or else he would come across as a crass politician. He blew of my advice and said no way John Boy, we are debating; if you can’t multitask it’s not my problem. He showed conviction and leadership, not backing down to an idle threat. This is the man to solve our economic crisis and global image problem. Because he showed spine.

This morning I was interviewing a 20 something person for a mid level position in PR (who actually had no experience in PR). He wasn’t the worst candidate I have ever interviewed but he shared a common trait with 90% of them. Zero questions. Nothing. I even prompted him several times. What are you looking for in an agency? Where do you want to be in two years? Even the
lob of all lobs; do you have any questions? Nothing besides the usual “I read your web site and it all makes sense.” Nothing sells like curiosity, whether you want a job or want to be my friend. Even if he, after looking at my frightening number of Lance pictures had said “so you like Lance” I would have been impressed.

I really have never had any competitors in running or triathlons. I am mostly competing against laziness or against the clock. But these inanimate goals, while they do provide motivation, don’t provide the primal emotional spur that a living, breathing human does. Problem is I don’t really know anyone who is close to my level since for some reason I am not friends with any serious endurance athletes. Not that I am serious but most of the people I know who run or tri have an actual life so don’t take train as much as me. Which is why I am friends with them. If I met someone like me they would bore me to death. So I need to identify people who I can compete against who have no idea I exist or that we are in competition. Like the boyfriend of a coworker. We are both running the California International Marathon and according to www.athlinks.com have similar half marathon times. Dude is going down. Even if he doesn’t know or care.

Clubbing

2008-09-23T18:01:00.000-07:00

For some reason I have issues with meetings involving groups of people organized around a common theme. It can be religion, work, hobbies (e.g., triathlon clubs), politics but they make me feel squirmy like someone is touching my nipples. I don’t know if it’s the case of not wanting to join a club that would have me as a member but I get uncomfortable. Small groups don’t cause this feeling. This probably isn’t rational and is topic 421 to explore when my head is shrunk and my body is sprawled vertical.

The buzz of semi-committing to the California International Marathon is still there; I haven’t officially signed up for it but the intention to has already given my training a little psychological boost. Of course, I am still on the same basic workout schedule – 8 miles/day, four days a week, lifting three days a week but I feel like there is more of a purpose then veins on the bicep. Still, running and lifting do get monotonous, unlike when I was training for a triathlon and I was balancing two other activities. But the conundrum is I really didn’t enjoy the triathlon race experience, other than the finishing part. The benefit of being in super shape and glowing is more a by product of the training experience. The race itself to me is a bunch of jangly nerve endings and logistical complexities. So. After the December marathon, I am going to start training for a triathlon without actually intending to do one. Maybe the joy of training with a variety of gear will make me forget the pain of racing. So I can once again be on the starting line of a half or full Ironman or and have two thoughts in my head – “what the hell am I doing here” and “will I be a pussy if I go home now.”

So the launch of the Gphone/G1 did nothing to solve my cell phone indecision. From the first reports it looks like it has the same it factor as the iPhone, but isn’t both a work and leisure tool. As of now, it has no connectivity into corporate email systems so it’s useless to me. More and more it’s looking like Blackberry is the way to go. I’ll think about it for another 10 months.

Armstrongesque

2008-09-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

Today a client told a co-worker that I seemed “Lance Armstrongesque.” While I am overjoyed at his understanding of my Christ-like state, I can’t decide if this observation is because I too seem driven to cure the world of a major affliction while banging celebrities and participating or winning major endurance events or because he snuck into my office and saw my ridiculous homage to Lance (plus throw in my “I don’t know anyone with cancer but I worship Lance” Live Strong band).

You are not supposed to worry or focus on the small stuff because it is a waste of time. But then where are you supposed to get your satisfaction from accomplishing things because most of life is the small stuff. Every day my to do list contains about 15 things, of which about 14 are small, piddly things. But I get just as much satisfaction out of of checking the box next to “take creatine” or “read Friedman” as I do out of “figure out your reason for living.” And I still have yet to check that last one off.

After 45 minutes, most business meetings degenerate into who can repeat the same thought over and over again while maintaining at least an ounce of originality. There are some meetings that need to go over 45, but most become a contest in posturing and pontification. In a grad school class on American Politics, we all had to give oral presentations. Most of the people went on for about 35-40 minutes. I was one of the last ones to go and I made it through about 12 minutes and I was done. I felt like I had blown the assignment because I had not gone into enough detail, but the other students seemed relieved and thought I did a great job by keeping it brief. But they could or would not do the same.

Conversations with Dog

2008-09-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

The weekend’s plan was to run 10 miles on Saturday and Sunday to prove to myself that I had it physically and mentally to train for the California International Marathon in early December. I made it through the first 10 but today cut it down to 7. Does this mean I am a failure, that I don’t have the right stuff? Call it a ridiculous rationalization but I think I am still good to go. First, I have a golden rule that I choose to ignore when I feel super motivated after reading an article about Lance, or I feel bloated or when I read an entry by some random blogger I follow on their latest amazing workout or race. I get all steamed and say lets do some big volume of training, like 10 and 10. My golden rule is don’t run more than eight miles more than once any week. The golden rule is both to prevent injury, which I am susceptible to when I train for marathons, and burn out (I was fried after the Saturday 10). So I obeyed by brain but not my ego. But ego will be back in force this weekend when I try to do 12.

An expression I am getting completely tired of is “in the spirit of bipartisanship.” It is back in full force, Obama being the offender, as in “I will examine Paulson’s plan in the spirit of bipartisanship.” Does this mean he is doing it to appear bipartisan, that he is considering each side which he normally doesn’t do or that he is doing it because it is the smart thing to do? Obeying the spirit of the law doesn’t necessarily mean you are obeying it. Spirit of anything is up there with expressions like “no offense (you are about to be offensive), “I am too busy to do it,” (you have no interest in doing it) or “let’s get together again soon” (let’s stick to seeing each other every 15 months).

I spent yesterday with Murphy, a coworker’s cocker spaniel. He is an awesome dog but he doesn’t talk. I have never really spent time alone with a dog. I had a cat growing up and they are not particularly social animals. They check in every now and then but don’t really invite conversations. Dogs are social; they are constantly in your face, demanding your attention. It was just Murph and I alone for about three hours and I found myself uncomfortable with the silence between us. At first I tried to make conversation but I got sick of the stone cold silence that followed my questions. I know dogs don’t talk but if you are going to be so social and love attention, you gotta give me something.

Cableless/clueless and Twitter Friends

2008-09-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

In order to sign up for the California International Marathon, I gave myself a test. This weekend i have to run 10 miles both on Saturday and Sunday. I run 8 miles a day, four days a week so it's not really a physical challenge to run 10 miles, although today's 10 miler was tough. I get stuck on the mental issues of 10 miles - the fact that it's greater than an hour, more than a step beyond my usual run and in the double digits. But endurance sports are all about callousing the mind into slowly expanding its criteria for what constitutes long. I used to consider four miles a normal run, where now six is short. Hopefully I won't be whining to myself the entire run tomorrow like today.

I shut off cable about six months ago and they shut me off four months after that. So I am without sports, reality TV and Friends reruns. It's not that big a deal since I prefer reading about sports events and looking at the stats compared to watching them. If I care about one of the teams playing in the contest, I get to nervous to watch and if I don't have a rooting interest I am too bored. And it is not that big a sacrifice to give up the Hills. So I have been surviving by watching The Wire on Netflix and The Office on Hulu (thanks to Colin Northway). I am not sure if this lack of cable is making me smarter but it is certainly making me cheaper.

Update on the Twitter phenomena - I was at @eggontop's party (name is Elena but I am using her Twitter handle for effect) and there were three other people who I track on Twitter (and visa versa) at the party. I know things about these people through their updates that I would normally only know about close friends yet this knowledge didn't produce any meaningful conversations other than about MC Hammer. And it is weird to even bring up the Twitters to them. It's like saying I saw you naked in the bathroom and didn't know you have a hairy back. But I'll keep following them, just not necessarily talking to them.

Google Phone and Honesty in Business

2008-09-19T17:07:00.000-07:00

I have been paralyzed by indecision on whether or not to buy another cell phone. The issues, beyond my own need to validate myself through a cool phone? The iPhone is cool, has loads of interesting if meaningless applications (other than Avego) and brands you techno-hip, but I hate the touchscreen keyboard and it doesn’t work well for corporate email/calendaring. The Blackberry has none of the Apple buzz but is much more practical AND has brickbreaker. Sprint Instinct is a Sprint phone. Nuf said. My Treo 650 still works well but the whole industry and public is basically shunning it and Palm. Do I want to be in the coalition of the shunned? And finally the upcoming HTC Dream AKA Google phone, which will be announced on Tuesday. I said I would wait until the Gphone came out before buying a new phone so the waiting may be about to end.

I am not sure if honesty is always the best policy in business. I went to lunch today with a former client who is with a new company. I thought it would be a good new business opportunity. I water and dine him over Pad See Yew with chicken, tell a few intelligent and funny stories and presto, I have a new client. Except he started the conversation with how much he hates his job and his company. From there, I could not smoothly ask him if a blog strategy would change anything. And when he asked me how I was doing at work, I went with the generic, unthinking "things are good" response almost by rote. That kind of killed the conversation since I didn't meet his honesty with an equal peak behind the curtains. So we bitched about California public schools and called it a day.

Tonight’s podcast is going to be on the financial meltdown, instant replay is killing sports, and celebrity blogging. I have to somehow figure out how to drive our listener base beyond 30 people. I admit, this is 30 more people than I would expect to listen to my uninformed opinions but I have done the Facebook group thing, the mass email, the blog banner (see above). Maybe having more friends would help.

Alcohol and sponsorship

2008-09-18T17:31:00.000-07:00

The reasons for my passion for Lance are many. Other than his ridiculous fitness level, drive and passion for endurance sports, the primary reason for my adulation is his simplification of decisions into right or wrong, black or white, on or off, one or zero. He doesn’t spend a lot of time agonizing over decisions, or reflecting backwards on ones that go wrong. Sure, introspection can be important but there is more time wasted doing that than intelligence gained. I want that, I need that, the clarity of the pure decision. In my work experience the VP, marketing and CEOs I admire aren’t the ones who make smart decisions, it's the one who make and fast ones. Fire, aim, ready.

I will get sponsored. Whether it is Zappos, Sports Basement Schwartz Communications, or Baker Breakfast Cookies in the next six months someone is going to pay me, in cash, goods or services for the chance to associate their brand with my fanatic addiction to endurance sports. My value has to be in my commitment rather than my performance since I don’t really have the results or the game. I am kind of like the Sarah Palin of marathons and triathlons. Like Palin, I am not the best at what I do but I appeal to the average Joe who wants to see themselves in me. I might not be able to win the New York Marathon but with a little luck and hard work I could finish 5,256^th. Don’t admire the A game, go with the C+.

I have almost reached my end point with alcohol. I was never a committed drinker. In high school, college and into my mid 20s, I could hang for one weekend party of many beers or mixed drinks but would limp my way through the next night with no second wind. Then I started becoming a lightweight once I had kids. Sleep was hard to come by with screaming babies so the sleep better be sober and pure. Divorce followed and the drinker in me was reborn for a couple of years. But once my endurance addiction took hold, even the slightest hangover was a huge bummer. Last night two glasses of wine turned me into a whiny bitch (read in the voice of Omar of The Wire) this morning. I don’t like the pain of the next morning at all. It’s worse then my friends yelling at me for being no fun.

Personal growth and PR Parties

2008-09-17T05:11:00.000-07:00

Rebecca was commenting yesterday that my blog entries from 2005 are almost exactly the same as from this week. Does that make me a consistent person true to my beliefs and passions or a boring person who is not evolving on any level? Also, should the events, if there are any, that are contributing to my evolution, be documented and easy to detect on my psyche through a few random paragraphs every few months? OK, so a big event yesterday was deciding to do the California International Marathon with December 7 with Duanne. When Jesus saved another soul, did everyone get bored and say not again, go work on your carpenter skills for Pharaoh's sake?

I have one of my two weekly conversations with Ben today who is in school in Bend, OR. It is amazing speaking with him because nine months ago he would not even talk to me, and now we have these open and honest (although short) conversations about anything. It is also slightly nerve wracking in that I am trying to cram substantive bits into the discussion but also want to keep it light, all within a seven and 15 minute time limit. He definitely gets it and he ends up sounding like the adult most of the time.

I am going to a party tonight at Emily and Kathleen's new office. They opened their own PR agency about a year ago and are showing off their new crib. The invite list is hilarious; former coworkers who all work at semi competitive agencies. Kind of like Obama winning and inviting all the key members of the McCain campaign. Although I don't think anyone takes high tech PR as seriously as Karl Rove. I am trying to get approval from Emily to Twitter live from the party on the fascinating discussions on open source and cloud computing.

Random Bits

2008-09-16T09:14:00.001-07:00

Colin Northway is pissing me off. He is the faceless stranger who lives within 60 feet of me who has generously, without knowledge,been providing me with free WiFi for the last year or so. I think he found out and I have now been bounced off his network. Maybe he objected to the amount of times I was accessing livestrong.com for the latest Lance update or searching in vain for more friends on Facebook in order to catch Tbex. I think I need to actually contact him to try and share the cost of his service. But that would require talking to a neighbor. Unprecedented.

Don’t ever try and wear a Dri Fit shirt that you use for running on a plane. You will be shunned. For the first time ever, I underpacked this weekend and ended up with no clean shirts for my plane ride home, other than a running shirt that I had “washed” in the shower. Thinking that it would be OK to wear, I wore it for the 3 hour drive to JFK and didn’t think there were any problems (It’s not necessarily a good thing to be used to your own odor) until the pregnant woman sitting next to me in aisle 11 on the Virgin America flight practically started gagging. And my friend Dave barely acknowledged me when we surprisingly discovered we were on the same plane. So I did a subtle change into a sweater and pregnant lady stopped gagging and merely glared at me for the rest of the trip. She didn't like the hot bodies on Entourage.

The comeback of Lance has motivated me to reengage in endurance sport events rather than just aimlessly run 8 miles a day, four days \ a week. It probably won’t be anything new; I’ll go back to running a marathon or Ironman with more ambitious goals. But I also need a mission that has nothing to do with running or lifting, like Lance’s cancer mission. And I don’t have a
clue. It has to motivate me and inspire me, rather than be a checklist item like volunteering for some cause, done.

Losing the Fitness Edge

2008-09-14T22:26:00.000-07:00

I spent the weekend with Sam playing a lot of football, which constitutes the two of us throwing the ball back and forth to each other, occasionally running pass routes to make it more realistic. We also went to the track and timed each other running 40 yard dashes, the typical distance for football players. This reinforced that I my lack of speed has only gotten worse as I have gotten older, and sprinting is hard. I ran 6-8 miles all three days at my usual 7:15 to 7:45 per mile pace this weekend with little problem, but sprinting 40 yards is a wrenching painful process. Should I fight this example of aging?

I can still run distances over three miles as fast as ever and I am lifting more (albeit with the help of Creatine) than ever so I am not I total physical decline. However, my 12 and 14 year-old sons are definitely starting to surpass me in activities requiring constant explosive action such
as jumping (basketball) and stopping and starting (football, tag, basketball). I have no fear of losing to them, especially if I am trying my hardest, but given that my physical prowess is so important to me, I have a big fear of watching the inevitable decline spread across other activities as measured by my regular eight-mile run and bench press number

To prolong this from happening, I should shake things up and stop doing the same thing every workout, which I have been doing for over 10 years. It doesn’t need to be radical change. One speed and agility workout a day, stretch every day, should do it. But am I prepared to get out of my workout rut? My goal was always to get to a place where I was doing a hard workout everyday but it had gotten to the point of repetition, that I was physically able to do it relatively easily and mentally it was rote like brushing my teeth. I am at that point but rote is not going to cut it if I want to hang with Sam and Ben in one-on-one basketball much longer.

Social networking

2008-09-13T04:17:00.000-07:00

To continue a rant from the latest podcast; I don’t know what to think of social networks and their affect on my social life. I like being around people and having friends, but I lose momentum once the interactions become less frequent. In high school and college, it was easy to maintain friendships. You saw your friends everyday and you could engage in my favorite topics of discussion; the everyday minutia of life. After college when we moved to different cities, the everyday discussion ended and it became weekly or monthly conversations where the discussions was either a summary of the minutia (less compelling), big events (less interesting) or dead air. And I don’t like talking on the phone.

So the result has been friendships that have stalled or died all together. And this includes some of my closest friends. It’s sad but seemed inevitable. Enter social networks. The beauty of Facebook is two fold. First, with everyone joining and the network effect kicking in, you can find people from high school who you haven’t talked to in years. One click and they are in your group. Second, you can quickly, after the initial, “summarize my life in the last 25 years” email, start sending quick snippets every couple of days that provide random updates on the minutia of your life. This can also be done with Facebook status updates or using Twitter. For example, Elena just lost her job and got engaged on the same day and let everyone know using Facebook. Some might call this impersonal but boom, in 15 seconds she let everyone know what was going on in her life.

With my fear of the phone, Facebook et al seem like the solution for being a social guy. But there are drawbacks. I have been accused of keeping things on the surface. It is relatively easy to get to know me on a basic level but becoming close to me is hard. I put up walls around me which prevent real friendships from forming. Does Facebook, which as a medium keeps things surface, perpetuate this even further. Does connecting with 345 people at once equal having in depth conversations with six. Quality over quantity?

End of an Era

2008-05-19T03:33:00.000-07:00

I just bought tickets for a Yankees-A's game on July 20 at the Stadium in what could be the last time I go to Mecca. I think it is a joke that they are building a new Yankee Stadium. While I am one of those people who think sports have changed for the worst (e.g., tennis was a much better sport to watch when they used wooden rackets, college and pro basketball are both suffering from one and done athletes, massive celebrating from an eight yard screen pass is a joke), I think building a new Yankee Stadium is wrong for economic reasons.

Yankee Stadium, like Fenway and Wrigley, is an American temple, comparable to the Coliseum, Wimbledon Center Court or Alpe D'Huez. People who aren't even baseball fans go to the Stadium so they can say they were part of history . Aura and mystique aren't strippers; they do exist at 161st Street in the Bronx. Once the Yankees move to their new crib, even though it is next door, the attraction that is the House that Ruth Built is gone. The House that Hank and Hal built is worthless as a memory.

I have probably been to about 15-20 games at Yankee Stadium
and they were all incredible. Highlights include:

July or August 1973 - My first Yankee game with my mom and sister. Felipe Alou and Bobby Murcer are the Yankee stars. They lose to the Red Sox but I don't have an ulcer as the meaning is lost on me. I get a free bat as we stumbled unknowingly onto bat day.

September 1976 - Chris Chambliss hits a three-run homer with the Yanks down 5-3 in the 9th and two out. My first insight into the rivalry and a premonition of Chambliss' pennant winning homer one month later.

September 1978 - In the middle of the greatest comeback of all time, my dad and I watch the Yankees and Catfish Hunter beat the Sox again on Thurman Munson's RBI to drive in Mickey Rivers. I now fully understand why it matters.

August 1980 - I catch my one and only foul ball, hit by Reggie Jackson, and my play is on tv to boot. 25 years later, Sam will loathe me when he learns that I lost the foul ball several years later.

May 2003 - One of the top moments of my life, my first Yankee game with Ben and Sam. Yankees lose but Jeter hits a home run, making the game one for the ages. Enrique Wilson, a Yankee back up infielder, blows the game with a late inning error. We will all hate him for the rest of his career. When we have a catch and either Sam, Ben or I drop a ball, we will forever refer to it as an Enrique.

2004 - I'm not at the game but Ben, Sam and Jessie are because Sam won a promotion at Dick's when he knew Ron Guidry (49) and Don Mattingly's (23) numbers. He is learning the important math skills.

June 2005 - Yankees finally win a game attended by me, Ben and Sam against the Mets. But we aren't there to see it, since we left in frustration in he 6th inning when the Yankees were losing.

June 2007 - The Yankees crush the Pirates, and Sam's hero, Arod, hits two home runs. We stay for the whole game, a first for me, Ben and Sam.

August 2007 - Sam and I sit in the right field bleachers (the high priest's seat at Mecca) and see eight Yankee homers, none of which is Arod's 500th.

I will definitely get misty (of course I do this for compelling long distance ads) when I walk out of the Stadium for the last time. I never thought I'd outlive it.

Purpose of Exercise

2008-05-17T05:27:00.000-07:00

I am currently wrestling with whether exercise should be more of a pursuit of overall fitness or of goals. These two are not mutually exclusive but they can sometimes run in opposition. For example, in my opinion, running 16 miles is not as good for you as running 6 miles. 16 overtaxes your muscles, harms your joints and there is diminishing return beyond 30 minutes of exercise to the cardiovascular system. I offer no scientific proof to this statement, just my own physical experience. On the other hand, if you are goal oriented and want to run a marathon at continuously faster times, you must run 16+ miles several times a month.

There are the other issues as well such as mental wellness. It is motivating and uplifting to successfully train for an endurance event. The training gives you a purpose in your life, gives your workouts more focus and tacking difficult assignments is good for the ego. On the other hand, it can be draining on a Friday night to know you have to run 18 miles or bike 60 miles or do both the next morning. Exercise can become a chore, not a religious ceremony.

And then there is vanity. To succeed in endurance events, you must be rail thin. Carrying excessive weight, whether it is muscle or fat, isn't good for half ironman times. But it is good for confidence (the muscle) and attracting the opposite sex. Again, no scientific studies to support this assertion.

Ringo the Zen Master

2008-03-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

Ringo, seems like he has it all together. He knows exactly what he wants in life - food, attention, sleep, faces and hands to lick, occasional walks so he can pee and dump (and occassionally combine the dump with snack of the same) and a consistent flow of dog butts to smell. And he goes after it without any apology or hesitation. There is none of the human genuflection and whining about what should be doing with my life, I am too busy, I owe to much money, I am not good looking enough.

It's not that Ringo gets everything that he wants. He hears "no Ringo" all day but it doesn't send him into a downward, whoa is me spiral of depression. He moves on to the next moment when he might hear yes. He doesn't base his current actions on past events, or worry about the future for which he has no control. All that matters to him is solving the present.

Screw Stephen Covey, Deepak Chopra and Tony Robbins. Ringo is my zen master.

Online Persona

2008-03-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

There are lots of options for creating your persona in the Internet age. The one I am going for is the fitness obsessed, witty geek. I am not sure if this is exactly who I am but that's what I want others to perceive.

The methods of delivering this message are:

The blog - www.themerrilllife.blogspot.com. Given the narrow focus of my posts, and the sporadic nature of them, there isn't a huge audience. This aint no white people blog yet. Considerations: do I open up with personal, private details about my life to build the persona?

Facebook/Linked In - I still don't get this phenomena yet. I played the game - add as many people to my friend list as possible - but it's kind of ended there. Other then Scrabulous.

Twitter (merrillfr) - I am loving this so far. It is the perfect solution for someone who gets bored at long conversations and would prefer exchanging one sentence quips. Of course a lot of people are not the best quippers - unless discussing how busy they are is considered riveting.

Podcast - My podcast is now approaching 100 downloads a week. Nothing Nielsen worthy yet but I think this means the audience is more then just friends. The personality hasn't really been injected in it yet; I haven't opened up myself Howard Stern style yet. And I don't know if that would even be interesting.

The challenge is now how to link all the techniques above to become famous. Because, in reality, that is the goal.

Ode to New Resource Bank

2008-02-20T13:06:00.001-08:00

The beauty about exercise is that there is not really any downside to it. You look hot, you can eat as much as you want, it gives you confidence, it's a legitimate hobby, etc. The New Resource Bank is a similiar no brainer. I joined the bank about two months ago driven by two things.

First, the bank is dedicated to environmental issues, both in its operations (e.g., small global footprint, LEED certified headquarters) and in its decisions on the businesses with which it does business. This makes me feel good, that I am in small way making a difference.

Second, this focus on green issues is not at the expense of a customer-focused approach. While they are growing quickly, they treat each customer like they are important, as opposed to Wells Fargo's "I don't care about you, customer 1,222,444" approach. And get this. Even though they have much fewer assets than Wells, they charge no monthly fees AND reinburse any ATM fees incurred from competitor's machines.

They had me at hello.

I'm finally mobile

2008-02-19T15:12:00.000-08:00

I have figured out how to use mobile blogger. Live scene from my power office.

Merrill and Sam

2008-02-19T15:04:00.001-08:00

Merrill and Sam - January 2008 in Hunter, NY

What now?

2008-02-18T14:19:00.000-08:00

Whenever I am in the middle of the all consuming training for an endurance event like a marathon or a triathlon, I can't wait for it to be over so I can return to more normal, singular daily workouts in which I can seek pure fitness and fun. And then the minute I finish the race and am working out without a specific goal, I start to feel aimless. This Catch 22 situation is compounded by three other factors.

1) It is really hard for me to peak for a specific race because I have an addictive and insecure personality. If I workout for less than 45 minutes, I feel anxious, bloated and lethargic. Miss one workout and I feel like my whole "endurance guy" persona is a fraud, my abs soft and my will to get up at 5:00 am damaged. With this baggage to deal with, I am not particularly good at tapering before a race or resting when sick or injured. I know this hurts my race performance but my psyche is willing to concede a few minutes for the emotional fix of the daily workout.

2) In the last year, I have learned that doing a race a second or third time, particularly if I did well the first time, is not fun. Vineman 2007 and the 2007 New York Marathon were nowhere near as fun as the first time I did them. I am not sure if I am bored of doing the same distances (half ironman, half marathon, marathon) as well or if I need to do completely new races. Whatever it is, there is currently no race out there that has me excited.

3) I am getting old and am probably about to start slowing down. I am not sure if it is the residual affects of the January flu, running in the winter morning or the December hamstring problem but my habitual 8 mile run has gotten slower by a minute or two. I will give it a month to see if I recover before panicking.

So I am searching for the next endurance fix.

Parenting

2008-02-11T13:40:00.001-08:00

Ben has now reached 14 and his gift to me is he doesn’t like me. I encroach on his freedom, his independence, his cool factor. The group message is that this is the normal rite of passage for a teenager but it is hard not to take it personally. To accept that the boy who I have watched grow from a tiny little baby is now permanently angry at me and there is nothing I can do to change this other than bribery and gifts. It is payback or the way I acted to my parents as a 14-21 year old but that doesn’t make it easier to take.

The counterweight to this is that Sam still likes being with me. We just spent an awesome weekend together snow boarding, discussing sports, going to his basketball game where he was awesome, watching movies and bonding. He even told me he loves me in response to my many similar proclamations. Of course part of me thinks that this can’t last, that his teenage years are coming and I’ll get shunned for a second time. But I am relishing the time while I got it.

I know that I can’t take it personally – that being a good father is not about being liked, it’s about respect and being a good role model. But it is hard not to let my emotions run rampant when one of the two most important people in the world doesn’t want to be with me and there is nothing I have done other than exist.

Of course I am compounding this by reading the uplifting book The Road.

Update

2008-02-08T08:09:00.000-08:00

In Kingston, NY Holiday Inn skimming free WiFi, waiting to go on client calls. Random thoughts.

The Shield is the best TV cop show ever, beating my previous passion, Hill Street Blues, by a mile. Mackey, the main character and dirty cop is even more lovable and hateable than Tony Soprano. I am going to shave my head and fatten up my neck in his honor.

I don't get Facebook. I thought I did, that it was a passive aggressive way to keep up with a few of your real friends, pretend to have some type of relationship with hundreds of others and engage in exciting activities like online scrabble. But after a few months of this ground breaking activity, it has ceased to be a buzz creator. Microsoft must be freaking over their investment. At least the value of Yahoo! makes sense.

The audience for the Hack and the Flack has almost doubled in the last two months. OK - that means it has gone from 22 to 44 faithful downloaders but the stats don't lie. I think its time to do some news breaking on it to really drive traffic. My attempt to tie Lance to the murder of Heath Ledger (Mary Kate Olsen was supposed to be the smoking gun in a vicious love triangle) didn't have the desired effect.

I am the ultimate front runner sports fan. No sooner did the Patriots lose to the Giants in the Super Bowl then I was writing them off as joyless cheaters. Brady still might be a great quarterback but his limping with flowers, yapping at Giselle's heels and his quiet, solo pondering on the bench took him out of the Jeter room of greatness. Jeter doesn't genuflect on the bench, he leaps to the top of the dugout to congratulate his teammates.

I can't make a decision on Hillary vs Barack. OK - I did make a decision and voted for Barack in the Calif primary after listening to Slate podcast comparing him to Bobby and John but he is not inspiring me with his constant not red, not blue but united cliche. Barack is supposedly the inspirer, Hillary the doer. Inspirers can win nominations but can they govern. West Virginia voters will decide on May 18 - can't wait for another three months of over analysis.

I am almost back to my normal level of endurance. From Thanksgiving to late January I suffered a hamstring pull and flu/bronchitis that had me miss two, count them two days of exercise. Somehow I survived this crisis without alientating Rebecca or my friends.

Specificity of Sport

2007-12-02T19:00:00.000-08:00

Running and lifting everyday does not really prepare you for anything other than being able to run and lift everyday. Sure, there is the race across the airport to catch a plane or the challenge of opening a bottle top but they are few and far between.

But then there is a test. A touch football game. That seems like a good challenge for a 42-year old against a bunch of late 20 somethings (a handicap I face in dating a late 20 something woman). Unfortunately, the above paragraph still applies. So despite my teammates exhorting everyone to "get the ball the Ironman, he is really fast," we were crushed and I did little to help. In football there are no 3rd and 7.5 miles and blocking a 200 pound person is not at all like benchpressing 200 pounds. So for all the good working out did me on the football field, I might as well have been drinking, smoking and eating lots of french fries (wait, I already do that).

Plus I have a sore hamstring to boot.

Super Jews

2007-12-01T14:45:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to a Friday dinner with a bunch of people I refer to as Super Jews, people who believe and observe the customs of Judaism with a serious commitment. I do have a number of Jewish friends but almost all of them share my apathy/agnosticism so I was borderline shocked that there exist people under 40 who act like a character from Fiddler on the Roof. I have nothing against it - it just came as a shock. Who knew there were after dinner prayers, the religious liquour.

After leaving the dinner, I got in a debate with my girlfriend on whether or not I understood the source of the Super Jews passion. I think that I do, that it is relatively the same level of spirtuality I feel during an endorphin rush or when I hang out with Ben and Sam or listen to the B-52s. It defines my purpose for being here, what drives me each day.

Which got me to thinking about my contemplation on adding more activities or interests to my repertoire. Get out of the box. But is that really the issue. Do I need to do more stuff or be more committed to what stirs me? Pursue my own form of religion, not add others.

Just start talking

2007-11-28T19:59:00.000-08:00

If you have nothing to say, then just start talking and you'll end up saying something. 42 years old, no visible inprint or mark left on society. Yet.

It's 8:01 p.m. and it is no longer time for practice or planning. That can still be done but not as the step, but a step. Just start moving, with each step having a purpose but it not being about landing.

I swear this will make sense.

House

2007-11-15T20:04:00.000-08:00

The thing that fascinates me about House, the latest medical TV drama, is that the hero has deep passion for his career but pursues it without a care for how he is perceived or for others rules or moral codes. The purity for what he is doing and for how he does it is bizarre and inspiring.

There are lots of real Houses. There is my girlfriend's enormous passion and love for her family, my emotional dejection at a poor marathon followed by the reinvigoration of the desire to go after it yet again, my rebonding with my two boys every time I see them, and the rare client who sees their company and job as more than a paycheck or resume builder.

It means no compromise, no 2nd place, no fear of consequences. It means 3.19.59, emotional vulnerability, no cable and and no time clock.

Imitation is the best form of flattery

2007-08-03T13:46:00.000-07:00

When I admire or worship someone, my natural inclination is to copy them. Admire Lance, do triathlons. Dare to be a succesful white male. Wear black slacks and blue shirts. Love PTI and The Gabfest podcasts, start one of my own.

Well, actually, Mike Myser, a good buddy of mine and I started a podcast a few months ago to discuss the three key news items of the week (tech, sports, politics). After four episodes, and three dedicated listeners, Mike convinced Gelf Magazine to pick up the podcast.

Let the fame begin!

New Podcast

2007-07-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

This could be the last Myser-Freund Podcast before it is picked up by a leading online magazine. Swear to God.

http://hackandflack.podcastpeople.com/

Weak Mind

2007-07-30T08:18:00.001-07:00

I won’t go into the details of the latest endurance fiasco at Vineman for the same reason I won’t watch Holocaust movies. I know it will be painful to relive it so what’s the point. The one statement I will make is it wasn’t cramps, dehydration or a lack of fitness that did me in. Instead, it was my Achilles mind. Again.

There are people with issues that affect their ability to succeed by either their own or societal standards. It is hard to overcome depression, attention deficit order, or lack of stupidity without magic pills or tutors.

In an attempt to cover up my glaring weakness, I have used ADD as an excuse for why I can’t sit still or maintain focus for a specific project for more than five minutes at a time. But I don’t really think I have ADD. I think my medical condition is a weak mind. I don’t think that I am unintelligent or lack creativity. I just think that I bail out of situations when they become tense or painful, primarily in two areas.

Endurance sports – Unless I am incredibly prepared for an event (e.g., Wildflower and Sacramento Marathon 2006), I stop giving my best effort at the first sign of physical stress. Not even Creatine can save the day for me. Sure, I can take solace in the fact that my mind is strong enough to get up every morning to run 8-10 miles or lift weights, but I really am looking for emotional satisfaction by passing tests such as marathons and triathlons and am coming up empty half the time.

Emotional relationships – One of my goals is to get closer to people (friends, parents, girlfriends) but part of this requires dealing with the painful part of the relationship. Tackling the tough issues (e.g., I wish you didn’t treat me that way, say hello to my vulnerable side, etc.). And I avoid these situations like the plague, to avoid painful emotions. To my detriment.

These are issues I intend to conquer before the New York Marathon and way before Ironman Florida 2008.

Performance Enhancers

2007-06-22T05:11:00.000-07:00

For the .03 percent of the people who follow professional cycling, there is a lot of angst on the state of the sport given all of the admissions and investigations of "cheaters." Before anyone engages in the debate, they should take Creatine for a month.

I have been taking it for the last three months, and, embarrasingly know little about it other than the generic definitions. However, I do know that it works. Nate convinced me to try it and I have gotten noticeably stronger in bench pressing, curling, etc. and am close to the magical 175 pounds. Hopefully there are no side effects other than increased levels of self absorption, but I was already in that state so its hard to notice the difference.

Now that I have experienced the effects of performance enhancing drugs, I have new sympathy for Jan Ulrich and Ivan Basso. If you knew a great performance was just a tablespoon away, and the only physical risk was to yourself, would you fight the temptation? Not only would you win a fortune, but hundreds of thousands of people would genuflect as you rode by at your strength, endurance and mental tenacity. How can you fight that? A minor compliment from me at work sends me into my office to do pushups so the potential of a nation worshipping me would have me doing anything to get it.

Rather than fighting the use of performance enhancing drugs, sports should embrace them. People watch football, the Tour de France and the Olympics to see freakish athletes perform incredible physical acts. Let's see how far they can go. And the potential side effects will only make it more interesting. Imagine the Nielsen Ratings for the Tour de France stage if there was a chance someone could go flying down a 3,000 foot Alpine drop after suffering an EPO-induced brain aneurysm? Tragic yes, but they made the decision on their own to tempt the health gods. Maybe Versus and the NHL should encourage drug use and potential on ice heart attacks to save its ratings and its sport. People love watching hockey fights, so let's take it a step further.

Off for another teaspoon of the legally acquired Creatine.

Launch of the Merrill and Mike Podcast

2007-06-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

http://hackandflack.podcastpeople.com/

Creatine and Superheros

2007-05-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

Explanation forthcoming

Merrill 2.0

2007-03-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

What happens when you reach 42 years old and you have pretty much accomplished your goals. Clearly you didn’t have enough of them. It’s time for the quick reinvention, time to build a new list.

The new list can’t be an incremental growth to the last one. No studies in minutia like lowering my marathon time by 2%. Although 3.5% weight gains are acceptable.

What are the big themes in Merrill 2.0? It’s kind of like being the president in the second term when you are thinking about how will history teachers explain your legacy. To be morbid, do I really want my tombstone to say “He was in better shape than other people his age” or “His clients got a crap load of coverage?” Probably not. That can be in paragraph nine of the Times obituary.

I am not saying I need to start from scratch. I do have skills, however niche or obscure you would like to classify them.

I can write a press release on the impact of next generation open source application servers and make it almost interesting. I can run 8 miles every other morning and describe it with the same level of enthusiasm to the same people at the same time every other day. I can hold the attention of a room for at least 3 minutes before I get bored of hearing myself talk. I can discuss the benefits of Creatine for two straight weeks without buying it at the GNC across the street.

In short I have useful skills that can be transferred to important tasks. Monumental tasks.
Like what?

I am unique

2007-03-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

As a kid, I had issues with my name. Merrill Freund. It doesn't project any specific image other than "dude, that's a strange name." I wanted to be Bud or Jim. Something with a masculine ring to it. Somebody from Mission Impossible. But no. I was Merrill. Or Merl. Or Merrill the Peril.

But now I am older, trapped in a sea of homogeneity. I live in San Francisco, work in the high tech industry, am a white, 42 year old male who wears blacks slacks and blue shirts and spends his day leveraging, lacking bandwidth, developing strategic plans and crossing the chasm. In short, I am a statistic.

But my name isn't. There are no Merrill Freund's listed in the United States. None. I am not a trend or a pattern.

See for yourself. I am unique!

Choices

2007-02-19T05:48:00.000-08:00

To avoid making exercise seem like a mindless pursuit but one with a purpose, it is important to have significant goals. They do not have to be as noble as raising money to cure cancer, or attaining inner peace and self-knowledge although that would be nice. They merely have to be enough of a motivation that it will drive you out of bed or away from the TV to work out. Because if you do reach it, you will be overcome by waves of satisfaction.

I am currently struggling to define goals that will produce this sensation. The debate centers on three choices;

1) Numbers. Given that I have completed a half Ironman and Ironman, and finally went sub- 3.30 for the marathon, any advancements in time for these distances will now be incremental. Setting personal records at any distance is satisfying. However, pushing myself on a 50-mile training ride in the hope of lowering my Vineman time from 5.47 to 5.35 seems slightly trivial.

2) Body. At six feet and 172 pounds, I am on middle ground. I am bigger than most competitive triathletes (a group to which I do not belong) but skinnier than the societal definition of buff. In short, I have recently been feeling too skinny. As I get older, I will start losing muscle mass and will probably become skinnier unless I change patterns. As in eat more and lift more to get to 180. Of course, this extra eight-to-10 pounds will directly affect my ability to hit the numbers.

3) Form. While I am a decent runner, I am a terrible swimmer, and below average biker. Rather than maintaining my asinine training approach to swimming of churning inefficient miles and expecting improvement, I should join a masters swim club and actually learn to swim. And even nail flip turns. Now that would be satisfying.

Choosing between the three does not have to be either/or. Step one in the process; go to Koret Center this afternoon, sign up for a masters swim program and weigh myself.

Life is a negative split

2007-02-04T16:37:00.000-08:00

In this morning's Kaiser Half Marathon, I achieved the exalted negative split, running the second half of the race faster than the first (44.26 for the first 6 miles or 7.24 pace, 49.32 for the last 7.1 or 6.58 pace). I could play it as an example of my brilliant pacing or ability to fight through the accumulation of pain.

However, I think it's more the case that I do not warm up properly for races and the first 2-3 miles end up as a warmup. The last 3 miles should not feel easier than the last 3 but they usually do. I am more than happy with my 1.33.58 time, and it is a huge psychological boost to finish a race so strong, passing and not being passed over the last 4 miles. Still , I am leaving seconds and minutes on the course and if I am going to ever break 1 hour 30 minutes for the half, this type of racing will not cut it.

Warming up, stretching, speed work, etc . do not require deep scientific research or analysis but it does require me to think. And that is one of the reasons I love lifting and endurance sports. They do not require thought, just effort. Fire, ready, aim.

What do I want?

Climbing out of the rut

2007-02-03T15:02:00.000-08:00

Autopilot is not a state I particularly relish inhabiting. My job, my endurance routine, my relationships, my everything currently exist in this plain. I continue to work relatively hard, I am still running 35 miles a week, lifting the same amount, hanging out with my friends and family but something has been missing.

In short I am in a big, ugly rut. While I embrace the routine, it has become extreme. (Non sequitor; I just noticed BusinessWeek now costs $4.99 an issue. Since when does it cost that much?)

The Kaiser Half Marathon, two hours from now, will be a good emotional amphetamine. I suspect I have been in a post marathon malaise since December 3 so this should help.

But I need more than that. More significant changes are required. An initial stab.

1) Ben and Sam. I go back and forth with Jessie on whether or not she is going to move out here with the boys or stay in Woodstock. Regardless if this happens, I need a definitive, actionable plan that is going to get me in front of the boys on a more regular basis. In Woodstock or in San Francisco.

2) Learn to surf. Four five years, I thought about doing a triathlon before I actually did one. I have reached that same anniversary with surfing. It has all the requirements I love; cool gear, promotes the outdoor lifestyle, triggers in its disciples an over analysis of its emotional and psychological tenants, and the ladies dig it.

3) Move to Marin. I love the Bay Area but have mostly been exposed to just the San Francisco side of it. I am not a city man at heart. I am not shutting the bars down at 1:00 am and I don't attend gallery openings. The best place I ever lived was Boulder; parts of Marin are a lot like Mecca. Plus I'll need a car and can finally live out my Wrangler fantasy.

4) Push my workouts to a higher level. Since the California International Marathon, my workouts have lacked purpose. I have been doing the same distance runs and lifting the same amount of weight but there is no fire. I am adding that clarity. The big four goals for the next 18 months:

a) Break 5 hours and 30 minutes at Vineman
b) Qualify for Boston (sub 3.20) in 2007, presumably at New York.
c) Increase weight to 180, without increasing the 8.8 % body fat
d) Break 12 hours at an Ironman.

5) Make a difference at work. Much like in my workouts, I have lacked a purpose or goal at work. My performance has been acceptable but I am treading water, going nowhere. I need to identify how to grow my career, how to challenge myself to jump out of the box in which I am currently operating. To impress me.

6) Open up. Rather than becoming more brave emotionally as I get older, I am moving in reverse. I am increasingly avoiding situations which I think will make me feel vulnerable. No more.

The plan starts in 90 minutes. Break 1.35 for the half.

2007 - Year of Risk

2007-01-07T17:34:00.000-08:00

For whatever reason that will never be dug up by a shrink, I am not someone who likes to expose themselves to great emotional risk. Whether it is at work, in relationships or in endurance events, I am not comfortable taking on big challenges. And this is not good.

The Job
I have had the same job for the last 11 years. While there are good reasons for this situation (i.e., I like it, make good money, am a proven commodity/job security), it is also because it is familiar and predictable. I know what I am doing and have mastered all of the essential skills years ago. A new job would require me to leave my comfort zone. While I am confident enough to think I would succeed, it would entail far greater risk than I currently face.

The relationships
While I have friendships that I consider to be meaningful, they could be much stronger. The barrier? I lack inherent emotional trust. I assume that people are going to let me down at some point . To avoid the inevitable, I put up a wall to prevent reaching that point. If I don't put myself out there, I can't get hurt. This partially explains my recent dating paloozza.

The Races
While I am in shape and have achieved respectable times for endurance events, I am not willing to push myself to reach loftier accomplishments. While at some level it is to avoid greater physical stress, it is also fear that I won't have the mental and physical strength and skill to reach the goal. Finally breaking three hours, thirty minutes for the marathon felt great but I didn't have to train much different from the way I always have. Running sub-3.20 would require I move out of my comfort zone and open myself up to potential failure. Hate that word.

But I have reached the point that I can accept the pain of failure or rejection. I welcome it. Bring it on because it is time for riding the waves at Bells Beach.

Pursuing my goals

2007-01-03T04:28:00.000-08:00

I have the usual plethora of New Year's Goals, of which only a few are race related. However, I am currently unsure if I actually am motivated to pursue these time specific goals, and the more intense training that this will require.

My growing apathy at pursuing these number-focused goals boils down to the specific reasons I work out. Not sure if the below are in order of importance.

1) Vanity. I can't say that I am proud of this but I judge people to a certain extent, including myself, by appearances. Fear of gaining weight (fat) and atrophying (losing muscle) are a primary reason that I get out of bed each morning to workout in the dark.

2) Meaning. As I approached my 5th decade, I was still struggling to find an activity that I could call my hobby. After training for marathons and triathlons, and loving the process, I realized that endurance sports were it. Phew.

3) Rebel. No one wants to feel like a faceless drone, living the exact same life as everyone else. Working out at 5:00 am provides me with some level of differentiation from the Babbitts of the world. The ceaseless mocking I get at work for going to sleep by 9:00 pm is like an English Beat song to my ears. Of course, in a world in which everyone is now training for an Ironman or ultramarathon and documenting the experience online, my endurance bit is losing its steam.

4) Fun. In one out of every four workouts, the endorphin rush overcomes the physical pain of exertion and the run/bike/swim/lifting experience is actually enjoyable. There is something to be said for having fun in the second hour of a workout.

5) Drive. Inside me, not particularly deep, lurks a lazy man, a reality version of Doug Heffernan. Working out daily balances my inner Doug, and transfers my motivation to the cerebral part of my life. Without my commitment to exercise, I would be 50 pounds overweight, unemployed, and in a deep relationship with the On Demand button.

6) Fitness. It feels great to be in shape. Physical well being directly ties to mental and emotional stability. I have reached a level of fitness with which I am happy. I love being able to rattle off an 8 mile, sub 64 minute run or bench 200 pounds 10 times anytime I want.

7) Goals. I like my job a lot but I don't have any clear, defined career goals that drive me. Identifying races to finish, times to achieve provides me with clear, linear goals that compliment my less measurable ones (e.g., be the best dad, be a better friend, achieve inner chi). As a wanna be anal retentive, it is important that I be able to judge myself by arbitrary numbers.

The basic conflict lies between numbers 6 and 7. Given my fitness level, my workouts are impressive to me but do not require tremendous levels of exertion. In short I am not improving becoming I am not pushing myself. The question is whether the increased level of pain it would require to go sub 3.20 for the marathon or break 12 for the Ironman is worth it. Will it still be fun, bring the same level of meaning to my life and maintain the drive to get out of bed at 4:30 am?

Parenting

2007-01-01T15:07:00.000-08:00

I am at JFK Airport on my way back to San Francisco after an amazing nine days in at Hunter Mountain with Ben and Sam. Despite zero natural snow on the Northeast, we got in an awesome week of skiing/snow boarding. I love my life in San Francisco but being with the boys makes me happier and more fulfilled than anything else in the world, and dampens my return home. Fortunately, my campaign to convince Jessie to move to California is picking up steam; it is definitely the goal I will nail in 2007.

As a father of a 12 and 10 year old boys, I struggle with the role I should play (role model, disciplinarian, entertainer, etc.) Obviously it is not an either/or situation; parenting requires several approaches. However, since I am not with them every day (at least for now), the traditional parental role is not one I can easily adopt. If I am back East for only two days, does it make sense to punish them for the weekend if they misbehave? How can I build a meaningful relationship if I am viewed as the visiting professor of punishment? Two questions I ask myself in judging my parental decisions are: 1) Would I be happy to have me as a father and; 2) Can Ben and Sam understand the reasoning behind my decisions and will it help them in the short and long term? I can’t say the answers to these questions are always yes but I am way above the Mendoza Line.

There were some great moments this weekend. Every night when I went to sleep two hours before they did, both Ben and Sam repeatedly said “Night dad, I love you.” Huge. Best five words in the world. They also both started doing pushups and situps each night, a sign that my fitness lifestyle is rubbing off on them. And neither of them asked to have a friend sleep over, which I take as a sign that they wanted to spend quality time with me. Ben did ask if Charlie, a 14-year old New Jersey snowboarder who I hate, could sleep over, but luckily Ben realized before asking that he hates him too.

Now that is bonding.

You believe in miracles...Yes

2006-12-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

The impossible can happen. The Washington Generals win. Charlie Brown kicks the ball. A Democratic Presidential candidates from Massachusetts runs an intelligent campaign. Beth acts magnanimous on Real World/Road Rules Challenge.

It happened today. 25 years after my first race in high school indoor track, I shocked myself by finally calling on mental strength that I had given up on ever tapping, and shattered the 3 hour 30 minute barrier at the California International Marathon by over two minutes.

While I felt more mentally prepared for this marathon than any other, it was a Mark Allen, the six-time Ironman winner and god, interview I listened to yesterday that added the icing on the cake. His two thoughts ; pain is only a momentary feeling and can pass, and endurance events are when you discover what kind of person you are.

When my calves started to get predictably tight and cramp at mile 12, Allen's words got me through the pain. When my right quad started to go at mile 22, I just focused on the moment, temporarily abandoned my numbers game (e.g., only 4 to go, that's a short run in Golden Gate Park) and concentrated on the moment. And with 2 miles to go, when I began to contemplate walking in some freakish 2nd grade deja vu (Laurel Pines Country Club, Maryland, summer of 1972 I quit the two-lap test to qualify to go off the diving board with 10 strokes to go), I shut off my mind and just ran.

I was extremely ready for this race physically. My training went well, I didn't get sick and I was rested. But I can say that about San Francisco Marathon 2001, Vineman Half Ironman 2004, Wildflower Half Ironman 2006 and Lake Placid Ironman 2006. I was ready for each of those. But when fatigue and/or cramps set in, I gave in. Maybe not completely like at Wildflower where I only walked from mile 11 to 12, but on some level. In short, I have never gone to sleep after a race over a half marathon thinking I pushed myself further than I thought I could. I have never tasted the satisfaction of real achievement.

Until today. Running strong the last ten miles (I basically ran even splits the entire race) went against everything I have ever done in a marathon. When I ran under the finish line clock at 3.28.05 (I'm guessing 30 seconds to start) I was seriously choked up, like the last scene of Field of Dreams. Or the latest sappy AT&T commercial.

I am not sure if today was an aberration. But in every race I ever do again I want to recapture the feeling of the California International Marathon, December 3, 2006.

24 hours to go

2006-12-02T06:36:00.000-08:00

24 hours to go until the California International Marathon and I am, without a doubt, the most prepared, physically, mentally and emotionally that I have been for a marathon. It is not a question of will I break 3 hours 30 minutes, but how good will I feel I doing it.

The rational for this confidence.

1) By the numbers. I am coming off three-to-four months of very consistent training, including:

averaging 38 miles a week running only four days a week (the big five being 46, 42, 42, 41, 41)
long runs of 11 miles a week (the big five being 19, 17, 16, 12 and 12)
running a 12k race two months ago at 7.01 pace (the day after a hard 10 mile run)
running my final long run, 19 miles, at 3.25 marathon pace despite purposefully trying to run slower than 3.30 pace the entire time
I have run every single step the last four months faster than eight minute/mile pace.

2) The focus. There is something to be said for running races for fun. However, there will be no distractions tomorrow. If I start to feel discomfort, I am not going to justify slowing down as a search for more pleasant feelings. It's all or nothing.

3) Camaraderie. Rather than seclude myself in my hotel room in Sacramento (as if the cultural wonder of the state capital isn't enough of a temptation), I am going to hang out with members of the SF Tri Club. I can now comfortably admit that I am one of them.

4) The course.

Nuff said.

5) Inspiration. A month ago, Lance and my dad put on performances for the ages at the NY Marathon. Lance broke three hours, my dad nailed four hours and thirty nine minutes in his first marathon after only two years of running. I am taking the baton and will bring it home in style.

6) For fallen comrades. OK, this is exaggeration. I signed up for the race with two co-workers. Ari succumbed to a bad ankle, and Gina. Well Gina ran a great half marathon, and then crumbled under the expectations of the marathon. God bless her.

7) Positive thoughts. I am not inherently a positive person. The glass is half full but I don't think I necessarily will do a great job of chugging it. No more. There is no chance I will fail to achieve my goal of sub 3 hours 30 minutes. Failure is not an option.

8) The clock. I will be an endurance athlete for the rest of my life but the window is slowly narrowing on achieving my time-related goals.

The big four are

Half Marathon: 1 hour 29 minutes (best is 1.32)
Marathon: Qualify for Boston/3 hours 20 minutes (best is 3.37)
Half Ironman: Five hours 29 minutes (best is 5.47)
Ironman: 11 hours 59 minutes best is 13.28)

No more time to screw around.

It's over. Eight ball corner pocket. The fat lady is singing.

The New York Marathon

2006-11-06T11:41:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was the first time I attended a major endurance event as a spectator and I came away from the day more inspired than if I had done it myself. For pure emotion, the New York City Marathon is the most incredible event in the world and I intend to run it every year that I get in until I can't run anymore

Reasons to be inspired, part three.

1) After only two years of running, my dad destroyed the course in 4 hours 39 minutes. This from someone who has seen me run countless races and always proclaimed that I was crazy. Who two years ago scoffed at the idea of running more than three miles. Who five months ago dreaded the idea after his first hot half marathon. Who cautiously was not ready to commit to actually doing it until two weeks before the race. Well he did it and I think he is incredible. He'll deny it but he will be on the starting line in 2007.

2) The average triathlete, particularly Ironman participant, is me. A 41-year old white male, white collar worker. There is nothing wrong with this but how inspirational is it to look next to you in a race and see you. Standing at the 24 mile mark of the New York Marathon was like watching a cheesy John Kerry '04 ad but it wasn't staged. Fat people, skinny people, old, young, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, they were all there. Some of the fat people looked great, the skinny people dead on their feet. Running is the sport of the people.

3) Lance has moved beyond celebrity to a place where Tiger, Michael and Ali never crossed. He does things that amaze and inspire in part because they are so human. The celebrity as marathoner is nothing new. Diddy did it two years ago, Oprah before that. But they were a footnote to the race. Yes I am obsessed with Lance and hyperaware of any mention of him. However, he was THE story of the 2006 NY Marathon. There was the Lance cam, the headlines, the crowd attention. It was incredible.

4) Ironman races take over the communities in which they are held but this isn't shocking. Lake Placid, Kona, Panama City and Coeur D'Alene are blips on the map. The NY Marathon takes over a city of 10-20 million, for a weekend. Everyone is a fan of the marathon and the human spirit in NYC in late October/November.

Everyone should do the NY Marathon once in their life. It is a transcendent event; I am committed to crossing the finish line next November at 1:09 pm.

When it's no longer about having fun

2006-10-31T19:18:00.000-08:00

On December 3 I am running the Sacramento International Marathon, my latest attempt to run a decent 26.2 miles. I'm back to try yet again.

In the last five years I have run four marathons, San Diego and San Francisco in 2001, New York in 2005, and Lake Placid as part of the Ironman, and crashed and burned training for the Rock and Roll Marathon in 2003. My problems basically boil down to two things; 1) I have not been strong enough to fight through the mental and physical pain that hits around the 19-20 mile mark, which is compounded by the fact that; 2) I end up hurting myself training for the race after I have done a few 16+ mile runs. This exacerbates problem 1.

It's five weeks to go before Sactown, and I have done a 15 and 17 mile run. So far, so good. If I can nail a 20 miler two weeks before the marathon, and overcome problem number two, I think I can tackle number 1.

Which raises the question of my goal for the race. I have waxed poetic about the need to have three goals in a race, each increasingly hard so, at the very least, you will have some level of satisfaction after the race. Plus there is always the philosophy repeated ad nauseam that "the journey is more important than the destination." All of this is true, but not for this race.

December 3 all boils down to one thing - breaking 3 hours, 30 minutes. Since 2001, this has been my marathon goal. I came closest at San Fran '01 when I was on 3.24 pace until I blew up mentally with 6 miles to go and crawled home seven minutes too late. All the formulas (e.g., double your half marathon, add 10 minutes, the Yasso workout) all indicate I should be able to it but I haven't. And I really really want to do it. I feel like this is the key to the rest of my endurance kingdom, the sub-12 hour Ironman, the sub 90 minute half marathon, the five minute wall squat, etc.

So I say shove it to the "fun experience", the "personal best", the "competitive positioning in my age group." None of it matters. On December 3 it all comes down to three digits. I will judge myself by the hours and the minutes.

All or nothing.

San Francisco versus Woodstock

2006-10-28T14:26:00.000-07:00

VERSUS

Hypothetically speaking, if you lived in Woodstock, NY, and were considering moving to San Francisco, what would be the pros and cons to the decision. To help provide some context and guidance to the list, you are an active woman (triathlete, skiier, hiker) with 12-year old and 10-year old boys. And their father lives in San Francisco. He's really cool.

PROS

1) Weather- San Francisco - 65 and partly sunny versus 20 degrees and sleet. And if you want summer live in Marin and you'll have summer, where you'll also have much better school districts.

2) Scenery - San Francisco, Marin, Sonoma and Tahoe versus Catskills, NYC and the Adiriondacks.

3) State Schools - UCLA and Cal versus SUNY Albany and SUNY Binghamton.

4) Fast Food - In N Out, Baja Fresh and Buen Sabore versus McDonalds, Taco Bell and Taco Juan.

5) Skiing - Squaw versus Hunter.

6) Skateboarding and baseball - All year versus six months

7) 2,700 miles closer to dad

8) Positive energy of change versus inertia of the bubble

9) Wildflower versus Tinman

10) Big fish in the awesome Pacific versus big fish in a small pond

CONS
1) No immediate friends versus great friends

2) Hassle of moving

3) Three hour drive to Squaw versus 45 minute drive to Hunter

4) High cost of living

5) Yankees versus the A's

Avoiding the Hype

2006-10-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

Maybe I am overly sensitive to information on Ironman races, but it seems like their popularity and hype has gone off the charts. The World Triathlon Corporation just announced a new race in Louisville, Kentucky, 2007 races like Canada, Wisconsin and Coeur D'Alene sold out in minutes and Kyndra and Tyler are even thinking of doing one. (shameless Laguna Beach plug).

After I did Lake Placid I was super pumped to do another Ironman realsoon but now I don't know. I can't decide how I feel about Ironman-branded races.

The positives
1) Successfully swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 and running (well, sort of) is incredibly rewarding, especially after you dedicate lots of time to training and abandon friends and fun.

2) Ironman Lake Placid was a great experience because I got to share it with my family. Physical challenges not only bring out strength and committment, they also bring out fear and uncertainty, which opens you up emotionally as a person.

3) Human beings grow only when they are chasing a goal. It can be knitting a sweater, meditating for an hour straight, discovering the background of your 18th century Bohemian relative or breaking 12 hours for an Ironman. Goals brings a purpose to relatively random daily acts.

The negatives
1) With the ridiculous popularity of Ironman races, the individuality of the challenge is disappearing. As a 41-year old white male working in the tech industry in the Bay area, it is almost required by law that I participate in endurance sports. We are all turning into sheep, spouting the same platitudes about discovering our inner chi through training, appreciating changes in seasons, blah, blah, blah. I mean how many Ironman bloggers do there need to be, either listings workouts down to the minute detail or railing against imaginary critics when they don't finish a race and feel their experience might be perceived as diminished. Obviously I am one of the guilty ones.

2) I feel like we are all trying to buy meaning in our lives. Pay $20,000 and hike in Nepal, pay $5,000 for entry fees, coaching, travel and equipment and do an Ironman. It's adventure in a can. Are we all becoming Sandy Hill Pittmans.

3) Spending 15 hours or more a week exercising is a great way to avoid facing bigger issues in your life. If my abs are rock hard or I successfully completed the hard workout this week, then I don't have to feel bad when I don't have control on the more important parts of my life. How is this different than drug addiction?

Strangely I don't feel at conflict when it comes to running. This is because so many people have done at least a half marathon that it is not viewed as a big deal anymore. Which is good. Running a marathon is a huge accomplishment for anyone, yet these people do not parade around with the same tude that Ironpeople do.

Running is more the sport of the people, Ironman of the elite. And I'd rather be a man of the people anyday. Albeit, one who has done Ironman.

Quiz time

2006-10-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

Is this me or Lance?